There is a flow to things; structure, accountability aka organized chaos...
Sober living IOP house 
I keep telling myself it's all ok.
But if I'm being 100...
I'm feeling anxious. I always have. It got into me early in life. We are long comfortable bedfellows. It becons me to think about the future. That's how I come to know it fr.
Three 3 hour long zoom group meetings, 2 in person and one online manditory! Plus classes to get my peer support because I be dang if I stay here for longer than nessisary and become instatutionalized like the ones before me..... thats worst caae senerio so my ego adds. Now, rent is due and you have no job, just plaama donation for chump change. I'll never measure up says my past.
My head exolodes with activity leaving my body drained to do what excites me most; writing. I have goals set to finish my book if I can ever start.
Truth is....I'm tired. And I've only just begun to live authenticly.
This is noise.
This is energetic robbery.
Breathe. Inhale joy, peace and vitality. Exhale worry, pain and fear....
Remember, this is the old way of living. Snap back into the moment Lisa. Remember your energy is best utalized right now.
I ask myself...
What would I be doing right now if fear, worry and expectation just went away rn?
I would speak on it to people who understand. Then I would rest. So with that I bid you all good night. Dream and reconnect with source and recharge. Let tomorrow worry about itself and put the past 6 feet under. Thank goodness for sleep.
