Alcohol abuse, drinking alone
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It is screwing things up with family and friends
Check out meeting
Don’t beat yourself up. Recognizing that you have a problem is a huge step. Get to a meeting.
I agree with Jeremy. I did the same thing you are doing for years. It is not too late to get help. Go to a meeting and start the path to recovery. It is so well worth it.
Before I got sober, I was so lonely and isolated I thought I wanted to die. For real… I’d come home from work and drink myself into oblivion. Try and get to some meetings. Even when you don’t want to go—go anyway. Just sit and listen. Getting out of your head is important (for me, it gets crazy in there by myself!). Bet your friends and family will see a difference too!