All alone

Struggling Help
#1

Everything was going great in my life so I finally decided to get sober.
I have over 4 months now and have lost everything since. It's just me and my 3-year-old.
My brain is an absolute war zone and I haven't stopped crying for months. I recently began going to therapy (multiple kinds) but I'm scared these emotions are going to push me over the edge.
Im so lost, so alone, and just completely devastated.

Your life is supposed to fall apart and THEN you get sober, not the other way around. Everyone has given up on me due to my mood swings and I feel so hopeless.

6 Likes
#2

Keep reaching out. Speaking out. I promise you that 3 year old hasn’t given up on you! The fact that you had the nerve to pour your heart out into this post is proof you want to fight. I know how cliche’ “one day at a time” sounds and feels so often, but it is one phrase that is over used for good reason. It’s true. Just get through this day. Find a reason today to choose to be sober or clean. That’s all. We can deal with tomorrow once we win today. You can do it.

3 Likes
#3

I’ve been there, we all have. What I often remind myself in those times, is how much worse everything would be if I wasn’t sober. That fact you’re still sober even with everything going on, is incredible. Keep pushing though- you got this!

1 Like
#4

Don't discount your feelings, but understand that we can fall into a funk sometimes and have to actively change how we feel about certain situations. Look at the lessons and do something proactive to move you in the right direction. Stay in the fight! Prayers up!

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#5

Shay, you’re definitely not alone :heartpulse:. You are going through radical change and your ego/mind is trippin hard! But I promise you that this shall pass.
And yes you’re right about the fact that most peoples lives fall apart before getting sober. But hey, you’re still in the right place! You’re just smarter than most of us😅
I’m here if you want to talk

2 Likes
#6

Are you going to meetings? do you have a sponsor? Are you working the steps? All are important to start your new life that’s just waiting for you.
When your feelings get ahead of you go to a meeting, call your sponsor, or another recovering alcoholic.
We do this together.

2 Likes
#7

I know it hurts right now, but 4 months is such an awesome start. You’re not going backward, you’re just walking through the parts that you’re not used to feeling. Just keep going and keep coming back.

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#8

I remember how hard early sobriety was. I could hardly sleep and everything hurt. Meetings helped so much - and finding people on the phone that had been through it. hang in there

#9

I wish you saw what I see when I hear your cries for help. It takes real courage. I know it doesn’t feel like it right now but the fact that you’re reaching out right shows how much you care about yourself and your little one. Getting back to normal takes time. Allow yourself some grace. Things will feel overwhelming but remember it’s not always gonna feel like this. Keep leaning on therapy, keep sharing and keep taking it one day at a time. You and your child deserve the peace and stability you’re working toward and you’re already on the path to that.

2 Likes
#10

Sometimes all those things that seem horrible are just things that are making you stronger. I’m speaking to myself also when I say you can and will do this maybe not for yourself yet but for your child your gonna be someone there so super proud of one day keep going don’t look back and don’t stop!

1 Like
#11

Hey Shay C,
I’m Ceci. I sent you a friend request. I went through something similar. Add me and we can message. :slightly_smiling_face: Cry out your feelings, type into your higher power. Take your sweet girl for walks with you, and love on her and play with her. You’re not alone. God is with you, start going to meetings in your area . Meeting Guide is great look in your app store or google play store. Read your Big Book. When you’re at meetings get other ladies numbers to call when you’re in a jam.

#12

You’re going to be okay if you just stick close to the program. Hang with the winners, people with integrity. You need them and they need you.

#13

My mind tries everyday to bring me back down. So i as they say the next right thing. Either take a shower or get to meeting. Simple or challenging anything is better than listening to my thoughts. I dont have much to loose and i see it has a chance to start fresh. A chance to prove i got the strength to get back up. And right the mistakes I’ve made. And i dont do it alone. I take it one minute at a time. And ask for help. Which was so hard before.

1 Like
#14

Hey Shay, thanks for reaching out. Be patient and kind to yourself during this time. Sobriety isn't a bad of roses as they say. Its gunna get different before it gets better. Keep putting in the work, just a day at a time.
I was at a big book study last night and my sponsor said no matter what. If I had a bad day and ive done everything wrong.. at least I can go to bed and be greatful I am sober. Tomorrow is a new day. Hang in there. Get to a meeting! :purple_heart::metal:

1 Like
#15

Stick with it!
U made the right choice getting sober.
U can talk to me anytime

#16

Hang on. You're exactly where you're supposed to be. Lean on all the sober communities

1 Like
#18

@shay364057 ... :tada::tada: CONGRATULATIONS :tada::tada: on your 4 months of sobriety.

#19

Perhaps you should speak with your therapist about making an appointment with a Dr. and discussing options for depression or mood regulation. Drug and alcohol abuse change the physical and chemical make-up of our brains and it takes a long time to get it back to 'normal' again. Not to mention, our new normals can be very overwhelming at times as well. These medications aren't always meant to be taken long term for a lot of people, rather it's just to get your mind back to functioning properly, and from there you could also discuss tapering off of them later on down the road. Therapy combined with medication for depression, mood, and or anxiety is proven to be the most effective way of dealing with these issues of addiction, alongside a support system as you have here. Best of Luck to you and your future.....which I am sure will be a happy one if you are able to effectively deal with everything that need be in substance abuse disorders.

#20

My dear, your 3 year old looks up to you and believes in you. Go each day at a time and your child will notice and tell you about it. 30 years of teaching across a wide spectrum of teaching positions, I have learned first hand that children are much more observant and keen than we realize. Stay strong. You got this.