Had a very bad night and relapsed on cocaine. Led to an all nighter all by myself. Couldnt keep my nose away. Now lots of shame, embarrassment and depression is kicking in
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I’m 45 days and 8 almost 9 days off of opiods, you’re not alone, these thoughts j get feelings I get, but I keep telling my self it will go away, everyone has there mistakes with out those we won’t get better, hang in there buddy, it’s not a easy battle, one step at a time.
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Try writing down your inner feelings and then throwing the paper away or burning it...
Kind of gets you into the "restart" cycle again.
This is life you don't need to be perfect just give yourself some grace you're doing better than you think if you look at the big picture. Hang in there♡
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Thanks Matthew! Appreciate the comment. Definitely comforting that I’m not alone and can be stopped. Hope you continue to fight the good battle!
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One is too many and a thousand never enough. Drugs only lead addicts to jails, institutions and death. Someone in the rooms said that getting high will never again be fun once your head is full of recovery. Owen, I’m thankful that you’re here to feel your feelings and that you’re writing about them. I’m thankful that you made it back to recovery. We never have to use again.
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I will always continue I did it cold turkey and it was extremely hard and it still is really hard, but I told the addictions person I was father then I was so they wouldn’t give me anything, I have such an addictive personality I was scared to switch one thing for another, because that’s what I did with the suboxin and it made every thing worse, you’re not alone and will never be alone I will always be here for you buddy.
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I have to stay busy all the time Owen got too. Meditation taught me to be kind to those not so kind thoughts. Don’t be mean to them then they will pass. What can I do next time better, for me not to relapse then I would be back into recovery. My focus need to be on pen and paper or the vision board.
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Thank you Jessica that’s how I think my head is in recovery like nobody business I eat recovery I smell like recovery !!
Just don't give up.
Guilt & shame are the enemy's tools. We all make incorrect choices.
Praying for you.
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Your relapse was just a hiccup. The most important thing here is to get up and brush yourself off and continue to go forward. Don't let yourself spiral in the shame. It's just a hiccup. Everything your brain is telling you right now is not true. That's your disease trying to make you use again. Everything is ok.y
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I did the same not too long ago so I've been where you are. I've been held captive by all of the self doubt, hopelessness, shame and guilt. I literally felt like I lost my mind, my peace, everything. I'm 16 days in now. Those thoughts you have now are 100% false. They're of the devil, trying to break you down. The thoughts and horrible feelings, they will pass with time. My advice is to hold on, remember you are enough, you are capable of living a happy and sober life, you are loved and no matter what, God's got your back. It might take a little while,but it's worth it. I promise. Make this a part of your recovery story. You got this.
My mind use to race using thoughts. I thought I was crazy. I would exercise. My mind would race using thoughts. When will it stop. IT DOES STOP! Time does heal. Hang in there!!!
I’m In relapse mode right now but I’m at a meeting so we can recover
Don't get down on yourself. It happens and we get reminded of why we don't want it anymore. Long as you're willing to bounce back, you have all the tools you need to do it.
Relapse doesn’t erase your progress, Owen. The shame and depression might be loud right now, but you’re still here, and that means you can keep moving forward. Be kind to yourself and reach out if you need support.
In my experience I have went back out enough times to tile my bathroom floor with 24 hr chips. Everytime I knew there were steps and action i hadn't taken. I'd go a little further each time, I seem to move at the speed of pain lol. When I did the steps as outlined in the book with a closed mouthed understanding friend is when it actually worked. If you've been to a few meetings I'm sure you already know what to do. Get a guy to take you through the book,get a home group,be of service and start praying and get up and act as if. It'll always be the action I take. No matter what don't ever stop coming back
Owen, we learn from our mistakes! What did I do or not do? What can I do differently?
There’s absolutely no sense in shame, embarrassment or depression.
WAKE UP!! Figure it out. Do you work a real sober program? Do you have a sponsor? Are you doing the 12 steps?
I’m here if you want to talk
I’m sorry. But, you did it once you can start over. We all screw up. It’s never easy.
Hugs 
Welcome back! Thank God you made it. Don’t shame yourself just do better 