Almost 1 Year and Just Not Feeling Alive

Struggling Help
#1

I’m getting pretty close to 1 year and I’m just not feeling the way I imagined I would feel by now.

It’s been a pretty rough first year but I’ve endured. I have a great sponsor and I’m working 10/11 and trying to find my first sponsee.

I’ve managed to start working in an industry I’ve always wanted to be in. In 11 months I’ve gone from owning only a backpack to having a car, an apartment with no roommates (which is pretty hard to do in L.A.) and I’m not living paycheck to paycheck.

I am in so much gratitude to my higher power for these things but I just don’t feel “alive”.

Despite all that I’ve managed to endure and accomplish this first year I still have a pretty low opinion of myself.

Has anyone else gone through anything like this?

Thanks

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#3

Thanks for the insightful response! I’ve been thinking about getting back into therapy.

I had a therapist the first 4 months and I thought I had worked through some things but clearly there is more.

Congrats on the 4 weeks Leidy. Keep up the good work :call_me_hand:

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#4

I’m going through the same feelings. I’m almost at a year and everything is great but I feel an emptiness lately. Maybe it’s just the time of year…I keep trying to find things to do that will lift my spirits. This week I’m taking a dance lesson. Reading Leidy’s response made me realize that maybe I need to dig deep. I mask with external accomplishments. Sounds like you made some pretty amazing accomplishments in one Year Scott. Keep going!

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#5

Great work, Scott! Continue what you are doing so far. We re-build our inner selves progressively through our work but also based on special social ingredients, such as “the otherness”, “togetherness”. One dimension of recovery is meaningful human relations. When we get repeat validation from other people we start to change our self concept and in time we internalize that. Are you cultivating positive personal and professional relationships? If yes, keep doing so!

Your sponsee will be an important milestone in writing this chapter of your life. Please update us when you will start your work with your sponsee, Scott!

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#6

Sounds like your living sober and doing great! Try not to be so hard on yourself, maybe go back to therapy, and let go of any expectations of where you should be or when the spiritual awakening will happen. If you trust god and keep going one day at a time the promises will come true. :pray:

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#7

Thanks Julie Ann. It’s good to know it’s not just me but I also wish you weren’t going through this. You’re right this time of year is tough. Thanks for the response!

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#8

Thanks JoAnne. I am cultivating some positive professional relationships.. personal relationships not so much. It’s something I really need to work on. I have friends that I go to meeting with and check in with but they could certainly be more meaningful. It’s something I know I need to work on. Thanks for the advice!

#9

Thanks Nate. I do frequently have unrealistic expectations of myself. Thanks for the insight.

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#11

So true.. I’m am in recovery infancy. Thanks for the reply!