Almost threw it all away this weekend. My stress and emotional stability have been building towards a collapse the last few weeks. And I said F' it Saturday night. Headed to the first liquor store around 8pm. They didn't have my preferred drink, so I left with just a red bull. 2nd store didnt have my drink either and I left with a pack of smokes. ( I've been cig free for a month or so) 3rd store didnt have my drink as well and I somehow didn't have enough F's to give to drive to another store, so I went home empty handed. Threw the full pack out the window in frustration on the way. I'm not sure whether to thank my HP for those stores not haveing what I liked, or my EGO for not letting me relapse on anything less than what I deemed acceptable. I think I need to take a huge step back and reevaluate some things.
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It sounds like your HP was on your side. Stress and emotional instability are TOUGHHHH, especially when you’re truly trying to better yourself. I make sure I don’t react..and then I try to give myself time to pause. I sometimes think that those stressful days, moments, or periods of extended times are the ones I need to listen to the most…though it’s tiring as h*ll for me sometimes, I can go to bed and be thankful that I at least stayed sober. Sometimes just getting through it sober is the point..and then later on things start to clear. Anyhow, stay strong and sending you love
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You’ve got this. Keep showing up. Writing people here. Posting. Talking to your sober support.
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