Recovery for some of us is very lonely. As we give up out addictions, we are left with a void that is sometimes very hard to fill. That is the issue that I am dealing with now. I had to separate from the love of my life because I wanted sobriety. Sadly, I am at a point that I am unsure what would have been better. Being alone with no one to love or feeding my addiction, with someone to love.
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If you are sober there are many chances to find love. If you hadn't chosen sobriety there would have been many chances to lose the relationship anyway. Plus many chances to end up dead or in jail. Is say sobriety is a win.
From experience I know that it does get better! Always choose you 
🫶:smiling_face_with_three_hearts:
I completely understand!! I have relapsed twice because I’ve been so lonely. Have 1 day, trying this again. I live alone, work from home and divorced just over 2 years ago. I tried AA in the past up to 3 mtgs a day and still felt so alone!! Hope this time will be different for both of us!
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A simpler way to put that question is,
Do you want to live or not?
If you’re an alcoholic or addict that’s the real bottom line. I chose life today. One day at a time.
I feel what you said 
...the love of my life and I were like the video "love the way you lie" and that's so true...we can die for each other all day long so why can't we love enough to live for each other??? That's a whole new level of love it seems