Anyone want to share a amends story? How'd you feel before/after?
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I am just starting my step 9. I’m a bit nervous but hopefully it will be a relief when it’s all said and done.
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I was nervous too. You're right tho, it is a tremendous relief once completed.
I was TERRIFIED! But really it was a huge relief and I was able to move on with my life.
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I have to chair a meeting, and I’m suppose to discuss step 9, but I’m not that far along in my sobriety, I’m only 6 months sober. I’d love to hear other’s step 9 stories.
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My 9th is never over, always running into someone I owe an amends to, the longer I stay sober the more I recall the past or people tell me things I've done that I had no idea I did. So my amends is a continous process
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It was like a great weight was lifted. There are some amends that I was terrified to make but the outcome was so much better then I anticipated. It was extremely difficult to dredge up some things from my past but being honest and accountable is a must to stay sober.
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Start at graves. They won't slam the door in your face. For real. Graves 1st
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Nothing should be scary at all about step four through 12. If you've done a thorough step three. If you have. In fact, turned your will in your life over the care of God. As you understand him. Nothing should be scary. If you're having a problem with any step for through 12, go back and read step three again
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I believe the best amends we addicts can do with others is staying clean. The rest works it’s way out when we do. Time makes amends in recovery. As in, don’t rush into anything when starting out.
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I totally relate. My original 8th step had everyone from my 4th step. But once I made most my amends, it was obvious I had more of the past to clear.
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The majority of the people I’ve done wrong are dead.. I still run into people that I need to apologize to.. it’s hard but once you start it gets easier
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Never again. Letting the past be the past was the only way to set myself free
I agree amends are a continuous process. Don’t beat yourself up over this step. I did at first and someone gave me the advice that amends will be ongoing.
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9th step promises
"If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves."
I had a 7 year relationship fall apart bc my alcoholism. I lied, stole, and emotionally harmed this woman I thought I loved. We separated 6 years ago, when i went to rehab. So 12/13 years of resentments, fears, guilt and shame, all unresolved blocking me being present. I met her at a Starbucks for coffee a few months back and made an amends to her, it only took 12 minutes. I made a direct amends as well as a financial amends. I no longer fear seeing her because I cleared the past. I no longer hold resentments because i seen my part. To complete the amends she told me to keep doing what I'm doing. And that is to continue working the program, so I'm on my way to hearing 5 5th steps.
The best way to make amends is to not use so we have a chance of not repeating the same behaviors! Wishing you the very best
All in all my amends process was amazing. It was the beginning of being able to heal years of guilt, pain, and shame. Almost everybody was receptive, understanding, and kind However, I did have one person tell me to "go f**k myself". The important thing was that I had cleared my side of the street.
Off to the cemetery. That's what I did amends to grave stones.