Thank you Mare! Thats what I’m talking about.
My best to you. It wasn't easy but it is possible. Some amends are just not possible to do if the person is non-compliant.
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I agree
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Thank you everyone for helping with this delicate topic.
My sponsor has reached out today and it looks like we will be meeting up tomorrow to discuss my amends list and plan of action.
I will need to open up and be honest with the way that I felt after our conversation last night. I’m also, looking at it as I have a resentment, which my character defects are popping up. I’m selfish and self centered. I do make excuses, even if they are legitimate.
It’s all in God’s hands. I have faith in God!
Made direct amends to such people, except when to do so would injure them or others.
We shouldn't make our amends difficult or painful for the person we are making amends to. The person we are making amends to are not obligated to accept them. For some the ability to accept our amends is proportional to the credibility that comes with considerable sober time. For those we must make living amends.
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It is not supposed to be hard.keep it simple.if people make it hard.relax pray. Kevin you can do this.
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Thank you David! I totally made it difficult. Character defect ego and pride seems to always get in the way.
Pray for guidance from God.
Hi, I am new to this. I was thinking you could write letters to each person. I think it could help collect your thoughts on the apology? Plus, it gives you time to write it. Then the person can reread it any time. Hopefully they receive it better as well, less misunderstanding?
The letters are perfect! Harassing someone ny texting till they agree to make ammends would just be adding insult to injury!! Completely defeats the purpose! No disrespect to your sponsor, but idk what he was thinking!! As for amends that cannot be made in a traditional sense, you can do a walking amends. After everything I had put my two older boys through that's all I could do!! They needed to see me walking my talk! Words were empty and just words!
I hope everything goes well my friend! It's totally fine to question your sponsor if a suggestion is truly not a good fit for you! Go with your gut as you did and let that be your guide! Stay strong! 
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Thank you Laurel.
That is one approach we use when we can’t find the other person. This gets us closer to God. Or when when they don’t want to talk to us in person. We must do our best to see the other person. As we are to show them our living amends by example of our new found way of life. To show someone our behaviors have changed is huge part of making the amends.
Thank you again for your input.
Have a blessed day filled with love and peace within.
Thank you Sandy. We are all doing a living amends each day we work our program. That’s what makes doing the amends in person that more sincere. We get to show them we are truly sorry for our behavior and ask them how we can make our wrong a right.
My Sponsor and I went over my amends and put together a working plan moving forward. I have to remember that he’s not perfect. He’s sick just like us. And yes your right about questioning our suggestions. I’m very glad I got to reach out to everyone on this app as well as a few good Brothers in the program with lots of time and experience with amends making.
It’s truly a we program. No one person has all the answers to all of our problems or questions.
Thank you and have a blessed day filled with love and peace within.
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You can make an amends by writing a letter but never delivering it. Keep it as your honest attempt to make that amends. And then you can move on.
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Thank you Fiddy! I agree, when all other ideas/attempts are exhausted…
We made amends WHEREVER POSSIBLE except when to do so would harm them or others. Amends are long process. With some you make super direct amends. You acknowledge how you’ve wronged that person & ask for the opportunity to make things right with them (at least that’s how I’ve been taught by two different sponsors). Some people are not reachable for whatever reason. Some may have passed, etc.. Often times the best we can do is make a living amends simply by staying on the road of recovery & helping others one day at a time. Your heart and soul will tell you what is right and what is not. Let that God spot speak to you. Sponsors are “but trusted servants” they do not govern. Meaning they’re subject to error because they’re human. Do your best and leave the rest - for now anyway until God gives you the opportunity to make those amends using the guidelines laid down in our literature. Good luck and lots of blessings to you.
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