I have >23y narcotics abstinence (even Rx). Not so for the majority of my over 150 close-proximity neighbors. I live as a minority in addiction recovery.
There could be a 
trigger warning here and I’m just posting getting something off my chest 
that’s all so heads up and I’m not meaning to upset anyone.
It can be hard for me to witness the daily damage of the dramas.
I am here and supportive although few are interested. I understand well the psychology of addiction’s duality, so I understand “us/them” thinking. The perception is of either using or not using, and because I’m not using I am “them”. Never mind the fact that I’ve been where they’ve been, and that I’ve got decades of living with street populations which lend me understanding. I’m no longer “us”.
OK so it’s not like I’m gonna take that personally. What touches my heart is people’s wellbeing. When I see all of the damage and I understand it and I can’t do anything to help it can get frustrating and even heartbreaking.
There have been so many overdoses here with so many of those overdoses fatal. The population around me slowly turns over and the only ones of us that don’t change are the ones that aren’t doing narcotics or haven’t yet had their fatal overdose. I feel like an island in a sea of people who are doomed to see the end of life before mine runs its course. A witness to dark fates.
A few doors down there’s somebody else that’s surviving this and watching people get carted away by ambulances every week. A few doors the other direction as well. Over in the next row are a couple, and so forth. We all just kind of live here as dopeless islands in a sea of dope. Everyone lives here because of economic situation and lack of housing in the area. So those of us that are not expecting to die of an overdose spend days surviving the rest.
Just will add one last related bit to this. There are criminal elements here that can lead people to wreck their housing situation and even end up in jails and institutions. Some of these events lead to their losing all shelter. People that get kicked out often will die afterwards because they don’t have another option.
I pray for a time when we don’t have criminalization of addiction and homelessness, and with these deaths, don’t have to be so meaningless when they happen, but those are topics for different posts.
Sorry for the morbidity of it all but I don’t really have anybody to talk to except the other people around me in my same situation and we just kinda have to roll with it because we’re forced to. Islanders occasionally interacting. We trade “coconuts” sometimes.
So yeah, there is always a silver lining in any dark cloud.
Blessings
and thank you for being here.
