So I Went 6 days last week thanks to the help of being in the hospital,
But then I then decided to have a few on Mothers day and felt like complete death the next Day, When will i realize it just isnt worth it!
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You can do this....keep making meetings
Do give up. Have grace with yourself.
Same here. I constantly am in the hospital. I love drinking. Problem is I don't stop til something bad happens. After this last binge tho, I decided to go to IOP and started going to meetings again. I have 15 days now. Those first few days out of the hospital are rough,I know. But the serenity and joy are there,at those meetings. Even if you don't care for them, go to at least meet others, like me that struggle with the SAME thing. You aren't alone honey!!
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Come marry me! Lol jk
You will realize when you finely surrender to your disease. Reach out to AA and do the work one day at a time. Is addicts can’t do it alone and off willpower.
You're much stronger than you think you are. You got this🙂
Attend meetings… 1 a day if you can for 30 to 90 days. It’s what got me over the hump 
How are you doing Amber?
Give it up to your higher power
My hope for you is that you have had enough pain and suffering that you decide a new design of living. I know i am powerless over the first drink and will power is not enough.
Today at a meeting in went to, we read the "Jaywalkijg" story, on pages 37 of the Big Book (I had to look up the page number). It strikes a chord with.ne, perhaps it will with you.
If you don't have a physical Big Book the "Everything AA" app has it. The app is free!
My hope for you is that you've had enough pain and suffering and will start a new design of living.
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You’ll figure it out. It won’t be long. You’re aware. The internal pressure builds. And you’ll just have to Not drink. Even your break of 6 days or so accumulated of not poisoning your system. There are dark spirits in alcohol for us. Last thing I wanted to think Zi was alcoholic. My 3 siblings died from it. Their situation was more dire obviously. I felt survivors guilt at first. But I had health insurance for rehab. My situation was just different. I had doctors who treated me for other issues. Therapists. I’m grateful to God. I relapsed a number of times. The longest was 13 yrs. I have 24 mos now.
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Amber don't beat yourself up. Trust me it's not worth it. Here's why!
If you look back 6 months maybe even a year from today, would you have ever thought that you would have ever been able to be sober for 24 hours let alone six days? I know that I would have never thought that I could have been sober 15 years never in a million years did I ever think I would ever want to be sober. But it becomes a way of life. I can't tell you how many times I had 6 months a year 18 months 2 years and used but I just kept getting back up brushing myself off put my nose to the grindstone again and doing it all over. Remember one thing, no one can take that 6 days that you had away from you no one absolutely no one you earned it whether you're white knuckled it whether you went to meetings it doesn't matter but you did that no one else. So you need to be extremely proud of yourself for that huge accomplishment. Remember we're all in this to witness and we're all here together having one goal in mind and that's to be free from drugs and alcohol just for today.
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Amber you got this. Please don't beat yourself up.
I don't know about you but it was hard getting 24 hours over and over and over and my family beat me up enough I learned not to beat myself up it just gets getting easier. God bless you.
Am like you still struggling I to like it to much but can’t control the outcome of taking that first one then I can’t stop. I said I won’t do it again but back to it I go.
Well said Jim🙂
Adam I just want to tell you congrats on your 15 days of consecutive sobriety. That's huge. That's something that you should be very proud of yourself for doing. Keep up the good work. Remember I said this to everybody we're all in this to win this. One day at a time!
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Can’t bring back yesterday. Just try to stay in today and keep going
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Reset. Restart. Refocus. As many times as you need to. Just don't give up. You got this.
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Once you get a head full of recovery even if it's only for a short time it's like a curse in a sense. I say a curse because using your drinking will never be the same again I know for me with a head full AA it's just never going to be the same. For me it's instant self-loathing guilt remorse regret pain soon as I pick up and I'm not willing to go there today. And I found for me working a program of recovery is the only chance I have against my addiction