Feeling pretty stupid to be honest, (though I know logically that addiction isn’t a matter of sheer willpower, it’s an illness.) I was doing really well as recently as February, using healthy coping mechanisms and really taking care of myself. Since mid-march I’ve been battling the desire to drink and failing, so I’ve once again reset my sobriety date at April 12th. This is the most truly powerless I have ever felt over alcohol, which scares me. I need to get sober again and actively stay that way so that I don’t get trapped in a cycle of not being able to come back.
7 Likes
I wish i had some great advice but I am to new in this. I can only say please do not give up - you are worth fighting for
3 Likes
Don’t quit trying. We’re all here to support you
With each relapse we acquire more tools we need to be successful in recovery. I’ve been there! I would not be so successful this time around had I not relapsed. Like Sherri said.. don’t quit trying 
you’ve got this sending you so much love right now:heart:
2 Likes
Get back to AA. We can’t do this alone.
3 Likes
Just don't give up. Step 1 took me 32 years and many relapses. Last week I got 4 years sober. If I can do it, so can you.
I've been there. I've quit for a few long stints , but this last time has been the strongest of all in large part to medical detox and rehab. If you are feeling "powerless", I couldn't recommend a medical detox more. It's just 4-5 days to get you over withdrawals and major cravings. It was a lot of sleeping for me but by the time I was heading to rehab, I had a few days of sobriety and felt like I had a heel of a lot more momentum and energy to go down the sobriety path. Some of us truely are powerless and need help. 🤷. These facilities are in most areas or hospitals have detox protocols usually under a different program name. They all take insurance, including Medicaid and Medicare....and even sign you up if you don't have any due to the emergent nature of alcohol withdrawal. Then a 30 day rehab afterwards was also great but that medical detox gets you over that initial , extremely difficult (imo) start to sobriety while keeping you healthy to carry on through rehab. I just looked up programs in the area (I am rural and still found dozens), read some reviews of the places and chose one based on proximity and favorable reviews. I promise it will make all the difference. If you do decide to do this, though, don't go in $hit -faced like I did....they want your vitals kinda going nuts due to the withdrawal to establish emergent medical necessity ( just smoother with insurances)....they recommend 24 hrs of no drinking prior but I started getting bad detox at about 12 hours in my case. Just a heads up. Good luck I wish you well in your journey.
I came in on the chronic relapse program, took me a long time to get this thing, but keep trying  and you have to think the drink through  play the tape all the way to the end with a consequence. I never woke up regretting staying sober, but I have woke up many times relapsing