Anxiety and depression. Not just about my future (and past mistakes) I was in a marriage with an alcoholic and refused to bring a child into that environment. So no children no husband. My only brother died suddenly at 37 and I am taking care of my mother. I’m afraid I won’t have the money to take care of her as she ages. Not to mention the state of our country.
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I know how truly difficult it is when your mind is swirling with thoughts. If I wasn't regretting the past I was worried about the future. Recovery has helped me focus on the present, something I thought I'd never be able to do. It looks like you are overwhelmed with everything going on, but instead of going back to drinking you posted on here, you opened up, and that shows such great growth. I believed alcohol was my only tool against depression and anxiety, but it only helps us forget about our troubles for a bit until we sober up and have to start the cycle again. Recovery shows us that we can face our emotions, we can accept our past, and we must live for today. The Setenity Prayer has been so important to me since I got sober, because it truly does help us not stay fixated on things outside of our control. We do have the strength within to change our lives, but we can't do it alone. Please look for meetings, support groups, anything that allows you to connect with others who can relate to your struggles. Even outside of 12 step programs NAMI is an amazing organization for mental health. There is hope, and there is always help, but you need to not only reach out for it, but understand that you deserve it. I believe in you, I'm proud of you, and I want you to experience the beautiful world that is right in front of you, even if you can't quite focus on it yet.
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Although this was a few months ago, I truly appreciate your words of kindness and support. It is overwhelming, thank you for letting me know someone out there does care.
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