The program isn’t failing me. I just feel like im failing myself. Im working the steps, talking to my sponsar, going to meetings. I even talk with my therapist. Ive been dealing with a lot of anxiety for the past 2 months. Its just a generalized anxiety so there isnt a main culprit. Thankfully the hallucinations has stopped from a new medication. Yet im still constantly feeling like theres a Jack N Box inside me. The handle keeps going and going and i never know when the Jack is gonna pop out of my heart. Im saying all of this cause Now i im feeling it affecting my sobriety. My nervous im gonna relapse again. The thoughts and feeling are very much there. Im reminding my self i dont have use regardless of the thoughts and feelings. Im just having a lot of doubts about being in recovery. I dont know what the heck to do. I feel like im just falling apart.
Hi Rachel, I can relate to a lot of what you shared. I started drinking as a failed attempt to manage my anxiety. Unfortunately I don’t think there is a silver bullet that will defeat GAD, but it does sound like you are doing your best to manage it. One therapist advised that I stop trying to fight anxiety altogether. Acknowledge it is there, take time to breath, and remember that you are only in the moment. The past is gone and the future will handle itself. Easier said than done but it’s a practice 
I think you're being too hard on yourself.
I do the same thing.
Cut yourself a little slack, be kind to yourself, forgive yourself for any wrong you've done and learn from it as none of us are perfect.
Love yourself.
Thoughts aren't always true, they're just thoughts.
Remind yourself of every good thing that you've done
Sobriety isn't easy, you should feel very proud of your accomplishments so far
You're doing great, I don't think those thoughts are true at all that you're not doing good
Rachel, I feel for you! In early sobriety I was a train wreck. But this time I stayed the course. Not too long everything got easier, and more peaceful. My addict mind/ego is very powerful, baffling and cunning.
Stay on the sober path. Keep working the 12 steps and sharing at meetings. You’ll see that a much better life is yours to keep.
I’m here if you want to talk