Any sober musicians out there with tips on performance anxiety

Recovery
#1

Any sober musicians out there with tips on performance anxiety without booze?

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#2

I would like to know also. My first audition for a band after I got sober, I couldn’t make it 1/2 way through a song. Staring at the mic was like a trigger I didn’t know I had. I just came to the conclusion I will not sing again on stage.

#3

I totally get that! But I know I am meant to communicate this way and believe in my music. It’s something I know I have to conquer but it’s such a trigger. I am having my first album drop June 1 and friends are asking about a release party. The new sober me cringes at the thought.

#4

I hope the album does well. Maybe try meditation before performing.

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#5

If you are with in a year.go to a lot of meetings it my help you being around more people.:dromedary_camel:

#6

If you’re anything like I was you likely performed half in the bag multiple times (all the time :slight_smile: I shorted myself, was I’ll prepared, and made an embarrassment of myself on multiple occasion. Playing sober I’m a better guitarist and singer, much more relaxed, and considerably better prepared. That did take some time and sober reference (doing it sober with great results to build that self esteem). Once I realized how much of an asset NOT USING was to my talent I was angry at how long I had performed at a sub-par level. We have to get uncomfortable to get comfortable.

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#7

Yes. Me too and i do remember a few times I played sober so i have to keep them in the front of my mind. Absolutely more present but a tad more nervous. It’s gonna take some time. Maybe I’ll start to remember the words to my own songs!

#8

Appreciate that. Thanks.

#10

Routine, maybe? I’m not really sure because I work on the other side of the desk. I can say, most of the sober performers I work with have laser focus on their craft. Like, serious obsession level focus to the point you can’t really talk about anything else. I think something has to fill the void. Maybe that’s it🤷‍♂️

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#11

At least that’s an obsession that wont kill me.

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#12

So they say.

#13

I'm in the same boat and would love to know of some suggestions. Music was such a huge part of my identity, but now even thought thought of singing without alcohol is a trigger. It's such a shame and hurts my heart and I yearn to be confident enough to just sing and let go, but I just can't.

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#14

I am working on the same thing. I play a lot of instruments, but my hands shake really bad when I'm in front of people so I only play the ukulele when I perform because it's easier to play. Play songs you know so well you can play them in your sleep. Sit down when you perform. Do breathing exercises. Drink ice water. Idk why that helps me, but it does. Stay away from caffeine. Play open mics and start with short sets, maybe 1 or 2 songs. Use the 5 4 3 2 1 technique for anxiety. Take your time before you start. Focus your gaze on one spot on the wall, you don't have to look at anyone if you don't want to. Sorry if this is stupid advice. Just some little tricks that help me.

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#15

Oh that’s exactly how I feel!

#16

Great advice Kristin! Im putting those suggestions in my toolbox. They may be there already but they are in need of dusting off. Alcohol was quicker. And of course, a trickster.

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#17

Just know that it may have seemed like you were playing better whild tipsy, but you weren't. My friends and audience members frequently mentioned that I played better after only one or two, or none at all.

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#18

See also: How do you get motivated to dance at parties / weddings etc. without drinking?

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#19

Thanks David. I am not in AA but am building a personal pillar of support.