Anyone else find dating to be very hard when they got sober?

Anyone else find dating to be very hard when they got sober?

Its a hard realization ive come to. That i dont have a clue what im doing. Every date, every relationship, everything prior to now has had booze involved.

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Absolutely youre not alone with this one. I feel like when i became sober many actions and habits other people have became huge red flags for me and I have better interactions with aomeone i met in person rather than online dating

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Same for me dating is a lot harder for me as well plus I seem to lost all my friends when I quite dranking as well but I rather be sober then have the so called friends

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Yeah, I totally get that. Dating can be really challenging when you're navigating it sober. It's a big shift, especially when you realize that alcohol was a part of past experiences. Just remember, it's all about finding connections that are genuine and meaningful. You're not alone in this, and it can lead to some really rewarding relationships

I totally understand what you mean! Being sober can really make us more aware of certain behaviors and red flags. It's great that you feel more connected when meeting people in person rather than through online dating. There's something special about those face-to-face interactions, right? It's all about finding what works best for you on this new journey Andrew

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And for you Bruce sounds like we're on a similar path :joy_cat:. Dating can be tough when you're sober, and losing friends after quitting drinking is a common experience. It's tough, but staying true to yourself and your sobriety is so important. Quality over quantity, right? Surround yourself with those who truly support and uplift you!

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yes! And being a single parent to a little girl, I feel like I have to be extra cautious. Honestly I don’t know where to start! My doc was alcohol and it seems like everything revolves around “getting drinks”. It’s also embarrassing to even go into WHY I don’t drink… especially on a first date.

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Even long term committed relationships are hard to navigate when you get sober

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You are not alone.

If you’re working a program like A.A. just keep working the steps. It gets easier and easier to have relationships. Bottom line is yeah, every relationship before was alcohol fueled. So we don’t know how to be in a real relationship.
But that changes as we stay sober and work the steps. We learn how to have a REAL relationship.

It was a piece of cake for me, but I practiced the principles of AA and followed people's suggestions of waiting until I had at least a year of sobriety under my belt. I would have never imagined all of the doors it would have opened for me in the dating world. Honesty and trusting God are my code. If it's not meant to be, it won't be so I don't get hung up on what I perceive to be rejection. It just meant that she wasn't my person. There are PLENTY of fish in the sea, just be yourself and just like sobriety take it slow and steady.

For myself personally, even before sobriety dating has been difficult because what I’m seeking doesn’t appeal to the majority. Everybody’s chasing NSA, FwB, short term or situationships meanwhile I just wanna establish something that’s genuinely nurturing, longterm and will leave both parties fulfilled. I’m stepping away from dating for a good 3 years because I’m not interested in everyone else’s desire to chase a high of some kind.

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If you’re in your first year, don’t date - get a plant and see if you can keep that going :grin:

Yes

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What's dating ? :joy::joy:

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Just like applying for a job these days, your best bet is on line IMO. Even when I was drinking it turned out that the old habit of hanging out in bars to meet someone was just to expensive and how many drinks alone are you going to have before your looking pathetic.

Same here. Out of all the people in my life not one of them could stay clean and sober for a day. After getting clean everyone slowly but surely drifted away.