im new here and dont really know what im doing. i managed to get enough clean days in a row that i felt i was getting somewhere. then i met a stranger on my train home from work 2 days ago and threw it all away without missing a beat. im so lonely. meeting people and opening up is a joke to me. ive rewritten this like 7 times and still feel like it says nothing anyone will understand or care about.
i dont know. I jusy know im an addict, struggling for 30 of my 40ish years alive and i am feel more isolated than ever before.
Im SO terrified that i will never figure it out.
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30 years of struggling is exhausting, and it makes sense that you’re scared you won’t figure it out. You still showed up here tho, and the truth is, that’s all that matters.
You honestly don’t have to figure it out today. just take it slow and one foot after the next. Keep showing up for you. How you feeling today?
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