Apologies
"When I first came into the program, I would apologize to everyone and everything at the drop of a hat." BRB p. 250
Everything was always our fault. In our family, our very food and shelter were earned by our being the doormat. By taking the abuse year after year, month after month, day after day, and hour after hour, we learned to be invisible. We were containers that those around us filled with their poisoned words and actions. But we mistakenly believed there were some benefits also - a sense of belonging, except that we didn't even know who we were outside of this role.
As we grow and begin setting boundaries where there were none, we find our True Selves. We learn to connect more fully to our Higher Power by going on this journey. We accept that when we don't please people, they are not pleased - so be it. We allow those angry stares to live with the person who gives them. We slowly learn not to internalize the fear we grew up with. We cultivate new, loving relationships as we work the Steps. We remember our past and move through it to a new freedom, a freedom we never knew existed.
On this day I will respond when I know what I want to say, and not because I feel like I need to make someone else happy