I'll have 90 days on the 27th after a 30 day rehab where changing everything and existing in this sober ideal was possible because there was no other option. No phones, no real downtime because of a full schedule of classes and activities, early mornings and early bed times, and no work or other obligations. Now that I'm back in the real world, those ideals don't work in my day to day and being a morning person isn't really conducive to me or what I've known my whole life. Even before drugs and alcohol I kept odd hours, and that had only been reinforced by working nights in a restaurant as an adult. I don't necessarily want to change that because that in itself isn't the problem. The problem is that I feel like most of the sober community does not operate that way. I have always felt more energetic at night and am having trouble trying to find community that feels the same way as me that isn't my old drinking community. I feel like I operate on a completely different schedule than most of the straight-laced and presumably sober world does.
I don't want to have to choose between living the schedule that works best with my body and mind and content sobriety. I'm sick of thinking that my late night tendencies are something that are fundamentally wrong with me when I logically know that different people operate in different ways and it just happens to be that the world operates on a typical 9 to 5 friendly schedule.
For example, if someone gets off work at 5 they can go to happy hour, they can go to the gym, they can go on a hike, watch the sunset, go to dinner, etc etc...
If someone clocks out at 11pm...
What then? Bars filled with drunk people seems to be the only option.
As a waitress, I'm pretty beat by the end of my shift, but I'm also awake and not interested in instantly crawling into bed.
The idea of socializing and being active before work seems like a great idea, but would you suggest that to a 9 to 5er? Get up at 5am to live your life before going in to a long shift? Sounds pretty unrealistic. Winding down and doing some social activities after work is much more appealing. I don't like that my wind down "social" time is through scrolling.
Sometimes I feel like this world was not designed for a sober me.
Anyone else out there like me?