As I approach my 6th month of sobriety, I’m still very unhappy and full of guilt about my past. The days seems good most of the time bust it’s astounding how once the negativity seeps in, it’s like a roller coaster of emotions. My thoughts sometimes convince me that I’m no good. Had one of these insane moments last night and just prayed to have it removed, fell asleep minutes later.
I guess ultimately I’m starting to believe that god can truly do what I can’t.
Hello. These are all normal feelings. I have 33 months and I am still dealing with the guilt from what happened. I was just a social drinker, a half glass girl until one year after my mom died then alcoholism hit me viciously in 2019.
I still can’t believe how awful I was and how many times I ended up in a detox hospital in a matter of months. Most of it I can’t remember but I pulled all my medical records and I can’t believe that was me. I am so lucky my husband is still here. I was sober only 1 month then at the beginning of the pandemic I relapsed again because I had one sip of beer. My past haunts me daily. I am so careful where I go. I can’t be around a lot of alcohol and haven’t seen some family in 33 months.
But aside from all that, We need to be proud of ourselves that we are on our recovery journey but, it’s not easy. I know drinking is not an option anymore and I witnessed my brother die so when I feel like this I get angry. I should be grateful that I am not drinking anymore.
The past is our worse enemy and still not letting it go is holding me back in many ways and it will you too.
Move forward and we need to let it go. One minute, one hour, or one day at a time whatever it takes. We got this. 
Im almost at 6 months too and my past haunts me.
At two years I have bouts of sadness, fear, self loathing… I am glad you prayed and found relief! Keep doing the next right thing. Soon enough the rollercoaster will flatten out!
If you can afford it, go to counseling. There are some great psychologists out there and they can help you get rid of your guilt and help you to stop beating your self up.
PS. I have 30 years
Yea feeling the same 3 months sober
It’s just apart of this process. I just pray it gets easier
I will, I used to go to counseling weekly before I got sober but I never truly addressed the under lying issues. Thank you
Step work bud. It's work but it's a start to healing and a relationship with God. The fourth step changed my life. The eight and ninth steps gave me the opportunity to have intimate relationships with the people I hurt. The solution to what you described is in the steps.
Been in AA. I’m no where ready to take a fourth step. I’m just coming to believe I’m powerless.
The steps are in order for a reason. I work NA. They have a workbook that my my sponsor and I use for sepwork. There are questions in there I have never asked myself before. You can't work a fourth step till you have worked the other three. All I can tell you is that if you want relief, it's by staying clean and working steps. Do you best to keep an open mind and be willing. You are worth it.
