I fell off the wagon. And now I am back on, In a week I will be 2 months clean. I’m hoping this time will stick. I’m trying everything I can to make sure it does.
Have you tried going to hospital and getting medically detoxed and put on a series of detox and drinking meds? Only thing that helped me.
Glad you’re here
Congrats on coming back, one day at a time 
Congrat
Back on! Life feels better this way, right?
I relapsed Aug. 1, 2022 after 13 years alcohol-free. By December 2022, I found AA in my new state and ran there. I continued for 5 months drinking and going to meetings before I could buckle down and get 30 days..On the 29th I’ll have 5 months, God-willing. The first drink gets you drunk because it sets you up for the 2nd drink, 3 rd drink, a gazillion drinks. Every day that you take the first drink..you will be off to the races. I think about drinking, even miss it. But the feelings that come with it? I can’t handle those. Desperation, self-loathing, fears activate, misery, alcoholic loneliness (not lonely when sober), fear activates, drinking alone, shame, guilt, doom and gloom thinking, feel crazy, appalling beer breath, feel fat and disgusting, lost, and on and on and on.
Thank you. I resonate with those feelings that came with it. I’m glad I don’t feel so alone in that sense, so much so that I understand being sober is better for me.