I hate myself for drinking, I have tried to quit so many times and always find myself back where I started.
11 Likes
You’re not alone. Focus on the progress and don’t expect perfection.
2 Likes
Hello Eden. Most of us have been there, try not to hate yourself or get stuck in shame. There's a book that was recommended to me here, Alan Carr's quit drinking without willpower, that really helped me get the perspective I needed to be from alcohol. I've not been perfect, but it illustrates the illusions that many of us fall for in drinking and shows a great and happy way out.
5 Likes
Thank you
1 Like
I was a chronic relapser too. I kept getting back up and finally made my AA program the #1 priority in my life. Over finance, romance and even family. Once I got my priorities straight, sobriety got easier & easier.
We are here waiting for you 
4 Likes
In addition to Carr’s book, you may consider looking into books by Annie Grace, Eden.
Rich Roll has some great podcasts, interviews…he himself has been in recovery for a while.
Read and listen to the many resources available.
There are so many out there.
I started out with Belle Robertson’s Tired of Thinking About Drinking blog.
It helped me to reach my first 100 days of sobriety-when I first started acknowledging that I had a severe problem.
Meetings have not helped me that much…while seems as if a majority of people that use this app are into them…so there are always meetings.
While there are many other options, also…to help one get and remain sober.
Wishing you the best.
You can do this, Eden!
2 Likes
Hang in there and don’t stop trying. We have all been there. There is a solution.
2 Likes
Don’t give up!! Keep moving forward!! You still have all of the experiences of you prior efforts. You didn’t lose those sober days you’ve had! I struggled wondering how in the heck life can be remotely fun or interesting without alcohol. But it turns out that nothing in life is what I thought it was. I didn’t know any of the things I thought I knew. It was difficult transitioning from a material existence to a spiritual one. But so worth it!! You can do this!!!!!!
2 Likes
The thing that’s really helped me is imagining the good Angel and the bad Angel on my shoulders. I’ll get that nudge by the bad Angel to give in and I just brush him to the side and focus on how good I really feel now! It’s working!!
2 Likes
I went back to day one more than I want to admit. But you are trying. Just keep trying until it works. It will work. You will quit.
2 Likes
It’s definitely tough
1 Like
Easy does it and be gentle with yourself. Keeps coming back and never give up. Get a sponsor and work the steps. If you are going to drink or use. Which is your right to do when you want, call someone in the program first and see if your desire to drink passes
1 Like
I’ve been there. It’s very difficult. Recovery is a journey that isn’t a straight forward path. There are hills and valleys we go through. I think the best thing to do is to first make it hour by hour for the first 48. Always seek help! Try to identify your trigger that caused the relapse and work to prevent it. It’s also very important to have an outlet that you can share anything with, like a therapist. Heal what hurts you and maybe that works. Change your patterns of behavior by replacing the bad with something good. And always reach out you are not alone. If anything this random guy is here for a chat. You’ve got this!
1 Like
“Back to day 1” are words every one of us have probably said before many times over. You’re not alone, and with good company who understand and can empathize.
Take what you’ve learned from before. Take what you’re learning now, and put them forward to what you want in the future.
No matter how many times we fall. We have friends and a safe place to rely on here.
If I ever have a day one again, I know I’ll be leaning on my friends here.
You got this, you’re not alone. Don’t hate yourself for mistakes, love yourself for knowing you truly want to be the best version of yourself possible.
1 Like
I relapsed my entire life, then 10 years ago, I nearly died from alcoholism. I finally cobbled together 6+ years of sobriety this round. I had to completely demonize alcohol and declare it completely off limits like anyone would with a substance they're allergic to that could kill em. Alcohol is a class I carcinogen, just like nicotine, and I don't want cancer. Alcohol has broken more sane people and loving families than any other legal drug in the world. These facts provide the rationale I need in difficult times to overcome the appeal of drinking again. Educating myself about alcoholism and related deaths helped me as much as the steps. https://www.niaaa.nih.gov/alcohols-effects-health/alcohol-topics/alcohol-facts-and-statistics/alcohol-related-emergencies-and-deaths-united-states#:~:text=The%20Alcohol-Related%20Disease%20Impact,behind%20tobacco%2C%20poor%20diet%20and
1 Like
Thank youđź’•
What is doing for you, that you can't do for yourself? If you ever want to have any chance of getting and staying sober, a lot more has to change than just putting the plug in the jug.
If I walked out of AA'S doors the same man that walked in - sooner or later I would have no choice but to drink. I lacked the ability handle virtually every human emotion in a healthy way.
For me, it took a lot of work.
BUT YOU CAN DO THAT WORK TOO. Freedom, is just around the corner. Pick up a pen, summon all the courage and honesty you can... and start WRITING your life story. It's a good place to start.
1 Like