Oh girl I know how u feel. I’m triggered right now cause my f..ing neck hurts I mean anything will trigger me like anything hahahaha U need some Ativan or Valium like stat!
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Here for you Girl!! I've been right where you're at more times then I care to think about. You're here and talking about it! That is amazing my friend! Stay!!! 
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Agree!!
Ask for help-from your HP.
Pray.
This is about humility. This is hopefully your last rock bottom-ever.
This sucks and you’re in the shittiest part of recovery right now. I agree with a professional team-psychiatrist, trauma therapist, and maybe an outpatient setting.
You have the courage to change! Keep going!
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WE are for you. 
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I’m back on day 2, Cathy. We’ve got this. We’re stronger together.
Friended you. Maybe we can help keep each other accountable. Gotta get this!
You may have lost your day count but you never lose that experience. Please stay positive, get back to the healthy routine and the copping skills. It is an “active” recovery; meaning it’s malleable a work in progress… I’m sure you will find plenty of understanding and support as long as you are honest and mitigate the length/damage of the relapse
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Sorry Cathy
Good news is you're still alive. I failed many times trying to stay sober. It took me many years to realize that the reason that I always relapsed is because I believed the big lie;That this time, everything will be okay. But it never was. And that's what you just discovered.
May I ask you what you were doing while you were trying to stay sober? Where you going to any meetings? Did you get any phone numbers of people that have long time sobriety and actually use them? You have to take action beyond this app or anything online.
If you keep on doing what you've always done, you'll keep on getting what you've always gotten.
Get yourself a copy of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous and start reading it. When I started doing what was suggested to me by other sober alcoholics I started building sober time one day at a time.
I'm coming up on 8 years.
Today is the first day of the rest of your life. What you do with it is up to you.
The other thing is, you're going to have to be willing to stop hanging around with other people that are drinking. At least for now. If your friends are going out drinking you have to be able to say no. You'll find out after a while that your friends will just simply stopped hanging out with you because their drinking is more important than your friendship.
The only thing we have to change in order to stay sober is EVERYTHING.
I have changed a lot of things. I need to do more. I made my first phone call for help yesterday to an AA friend. I have been to rehab twice in 30 years. I go to some AA meetings. Doing a lot of virtual now and found this app. I just never call someone when wanting to drink. I have worked the steps before and have had a sponsor. So working on getting more numbers and talking to people. Watched some podcasts and reading my big book again. I am a closet drinker. So drinking friends are not an issue. I just have to put myself out there and ask for help. It’s going to be tough. But I have to do this. That first call was really hard for me. I did it. I think I found my first “real” friend in AA. Thank you for reaching out. Listening to all advice with open ears.