Back to day one. 
so sick. Really need support. Beside myself.
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I’m here for ya , sent you a friend request
Do you know what triggered you to drink? If you are like me, I try to make up reasons to drink but then I have to stop and remind myself of my reasons to not drink. I don’t want to have a hangover. I am tired of being embarrassed and ashamed. I like to wake up in the morning knowing what I did the night before.
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Everything triggers me. I am lonely. I don’t have a job. And I really don’t like being hung over. This recovery will take me a week to get over I am sure. Very sick. Can barley get out of bed. Doing a zoom meeting in few minutes. Need to get out of my own head.
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Please let me help you if I can. I know how bad you feel. I have been there.
Thank you!
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Hey Cathy, shi t happens right along with life. Don't want to say been there done that but unfortunately I have. You know you got my support. Like always will talk support anytime. The Jersey way. No sugar coating. Reach out anytime you can and will do this. 
Thanks Charlie. I friended you. That’s what I need right now. Friends.
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You got me reach out anytime
Hey, what's up?!
You can do it.
Keep getting back up Cathy!
Hey Cathy,
I was just catching up on some of your other posts. You are an educated lady, no doubt. But it seems like that is working against you at this point because you know exactly what to do and say to skirt the issues you are experiencing.
Even though it will initially suck, you need some professional peers that are gonna call you on your bullish!t and hold you accountable. A gap in work sounds like a good opportunity for something more intensive with all this time on your hands. Keeping distracted in positive spaces sounds imperative for you at this point. So let’s work on that.
Being alone and in your head isn’t working. Rehab, outpatient, in person meetings every day… which of these are you able to do? You have a lot in your past that you need to untangle so you can be healthy. That POS is no longer in your life, don’t let him take away your future too.
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I feel you! I’m on day 16…had lots of day 1s. I’m hitting a meeting almost everyday, got a sponsor, and looking for a service position. I’m not working and have no car which can get hard, so mad at myself. But just taking it one day at a time.
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Cathy, you are definitely not going to like what I say but in my opinion it was you need to hear. I have read your posts countless times and seen this behavior from you before. Coming on this app for support is not what you need. I feel it is just a crutch for you to see how many people care for you and want you to succeed. I have said it before and I will say it one last time. People can give you so much support and say the nicest things to you in order for you to feel good about yourself TEMPORARILY. But that is not the answer. What you need to do is start believing in yourself and know that you want this for you. Who cares what people think and say if you don't have any faith or trust in yourself. I too have been done this road sooooo many times. I had people calling me, praying for me and even begging that I would stop. That did not work for me until I started telling myself I had enough. Enough of the pain I was putting myself through. Enough of guilt I woke up with and most of all enough of the abuse I had allowed myself to go through. I am sober and clean today for THOMAS. No one else. I can care a less what people think of me and what they want for me. All I care about is what makes ME happy. And that is what you need to ask yourself.. What is it going to take for Cathy to be happy and love herself the way she should be doing. Programs, rehab, and even church are not the answers. The answer is what will it take for you to say I'm tired of this and need to get my sh*t together so I can be the best CATHY I am supposed to be. What will it take for me to be able to look in a mirror or something that shows my reflection, that allows me to say I am worth it and this life I'm living is not what I want. What will it take for you to say I have had enough and today I will start believing and loving myself once again. I do wish you the best and hope you find what you need to get to you to a point that you can overcome this struggle and say I will not have it anymore. I am worth it and deserve happiness. Best of luck and I truly do hope you begin to know you are worth it and deserve to live a life you feel you deserve. Don't give up and keep letting yourself happiness is only a day way.
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I agree 
! I have to love my self first. And I never have. Ever. Rehab, programs and even God hasn’t done the trick. I also need people for support. Something I have not used correctly in the past. So this is a step in the right direction for me. Not really a crutch. But baby steps. Also doing some meetings. Learning to even like me is brand new. I appreciate your feedback. Like a sponge. Something has got to work or I certainly will die. Again, thank you for your wise words.
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I hear you Kathy! We are all rooting for you, you are completely worthy of amazing things!
Cathy the first few days suck! Stick with it!! Get some Gatorade and push through it. Watch tiger king on Netflix or something. Do something that gets your mind off of house your are feeling.
How you feeling Cathy?
I am on day one, the sick has not started yet. My issue is after I get over the detox, I kid myself on how in control I am. Here if you would like to message.