This time I almost lost my marriage and I feel like we'll never be okay. I made some very poor decisions while drinking heavily. I'm so depressed and beginning to feel suicidal.
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What worked for me was separating myself from the poor decisions I made while intoxicated. That wasn't me behaving according to my core beliefs it was a sick man trying to manage a substance use disorder. I had to truly forgive myself and allow myself some grace because dwelling on the actions of the past creates depression. For me it took at least 30 days of true abstinence for the depression to leave men and allow my chemical make up to repair. Alcoholism is a vicious cycle of guilt and shame I'm sorry you're going thru this. Dwelling on the past creates depression and trying to control the future creates anxiety. Best of luck.
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Veronika you’re not alone:) Many of us have been where you are, I know I have many times! The great news is that you can choose to fix yourself permanently. You never need to feel like this ever again!
It’s your choice.
Go to meetings everyday for awhile, get a good sponsor, do the steps to very best of your ability and fill your life with recovery instead of filling it up with booze and self made problems. Program = solution! Booze = problems. Keep it simple. I’m here if you want to talk.
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Been there/ done that. Do this for yourself. ODAAT. Sobriety is so amazing!!! Stay strong and stay busy!!!
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I’m on day two and I’m trying to show myself kindness and forgiveness. This wasn’t my first relapse and I’ve beat myself down in the past. It does not help matters.
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Fact: Depression is 100% real. Fact: alcohol is a depressant. (Probably?) Fact: you were depressed, so you drank to try to remove the feeling (pouring more fuel on the fire). Be as good to yourself now as you would be to your best friend. (Think of them now). If you can safely detox, you will feel much better my friend.
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Forgiveness… that helps to forgive yourself but only after you repent of your actions…. Then strive to do better and with the knowledge that your trying your able to let it go and continue to move forward. We all make mistakes none of us are perfect. A good partner is understanding and forgiving. It does take time be patient. Love yourself and know you’re worthy and deserving.
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I know well that horrible impending doom feeling of no way out. There is a way out. You reached out that's the 1sr step to admit our lives our unmanageable with alcohol. Meetings made me feel like I was not alone, especially womens meetings. Work on yourself first, the rest comes
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