Back to square one for me. My new job was making me crazy. And I just could not handle it. Like every relapse, I knew it was coming. All the signs were in place well before I picked up a drink. Aren’t they always? So sick as ever. Withdrawal is horrible along with shingles. Encouragement welcome. Thanks.
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Cathy, I am a chef in work in one of the most stressful environments possible. The guys at my place drink on the line and some get high outside. It is very tempting at times but I will never allow them to tempt me because I am stronger than that. Relapse happens but getting up afterwards doesn't so much. Be proud of yourself for admitting that you fell and that you're tired of it. Let this be a lesson and a reason to find something better that suits your sobriety. I have been looking for quite some time to get out of this field but culinary is all I have ever done. However, I believe something good will happen and doors will open to a new career path. Stay strong and keep reaching out. Don't let pride get in your way and know that there's good people on here who care about your sobriety even if you feel you have no one else. We care and want the best for you. Now own today and don't let it own you.
Thank you Tommy. I am in sales. Only way I know to make money and pay for the wreckage of my past. Have to find a way out of this or I know I will always be a hamster on a wheel. Yes you are right pride and greed are the 2 worst of the seven deadly sins. Humility brought me here. Glad this site is here. I need all the help right now that I can muster.
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Sorry to hear you’re struggling. You have been around recovery long enough to know that relapse is a symptom of this disease. The most important thing is your back, and ultimately you have the same amount of sobriety as the rest of us who don’t drink today! All is not lost, as long as you learn something from this relapse that will help you on your recovery journey. As you stated, the relapse starts way before we pick up the drink. For me, not working my daily program (skipping meetings, not calling my sponsor or AA friends, morning prayer/meditation etc), is the beginning of relapse. Life gets crazy and sometimes we get lax with our programs. Get yourself back to daily meetings and start feeling good again 
I can relate. I have spent most of my career in sales up until recently. I remember my first job out of college was a financial advisor in-training. My bosses used to encourage us to go down the street to Hooters for a few beers to loosen us up for evening prospect calling. Admittedly, there were many times a small group of us never made it back to the office. When I did make calls I knew I was slurring and probably sounded like an a** to the people I called. In reality, I’m actually much happier and find “cold calls” easier when I don’t have alcohol turning me into an arrogant douche. Also makes it easier to rebound from all the “No’s” it takes to get to a “Yes”. LOL. Good luck!!!
Thank you for sharing. I get these sales jobs that promote integrity, no pressure sales in training and then cut you loose…the real world. And then give you the real deal. I really thought I found a good company. And again, top earner in training. Then get on a team, and hello same game. I don’t like chasing money. Lies, twisting it. Really awful. But bills don’t go away in spite of taking possibly a less stressful job. Quandary. Gotta get through the sickness first. By tomorrow, maybe. Thank you much for reaching out.
Thank you South Florida for helping to get my head alittle back on straight. I live here too. Failed pretty miserably with NA/AA groups for years here. Don’t like women. So makes it difficult. I am a closet drinker, introverted to a terrible fault. In sales. Right? Typical alcoholic chameleon. Act all day. Drink because it is not me. Do work a program of some sorts. Work at the getting back to that. Enjoy your posts. And thank you for reaching out. Appreciated.
I had to get out of sales simply because it’s sucked the soul outta me. Back into the admin side of construction. The money was great in sales but the stress was killing me. If things are not working, time to change it up. Good luck to you.
Yes sales is killing my sobriety. Wrote book of excuses. I really need to kick this to the curb as I know it will be not allow for long term sobriety. Thank you for feedback. I needed it. Hope to job search tomorrow if feeling better. 
Cathy, I feel you. I worked in sales for many years and it’s extremely difficult. Especially if you have a substance abuse issue adding to your daily stress. Stay strong! Something better will come your way 
How did you get out of sales? I really don’t know where to look. I need the money. So I keep going back. Any suggestions? Again, much like addiction. Hamster on a wheel. Need off this train ride. Thank you for reaching out. Helpful!
I lost my job yesterday. Today is my 1 yr. We’ll be ok if we don’t pick up 
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It is such a struggle. I am here for you. I have had long time sobriety and fallen off. Barely making it. Today. Hopefully on to a path to tomorrow that I will find a job I can do well at that is not counter productive to sobriety. What a struggle. Reach out. I get it.
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The important part is you keep trying
Thank you for being here! Welcome home! The first 3 days of withdrawal are the worst! God bless you
It took me 2 weeks last time. Deathly sick. Bad this time, but somehow managing. I know this isn’t over. Thank you for supporting me. How to sleep? If I could just sleep.
It’s not how many times you file it’s how many times you get back up
Fall