I’m so tired of doing everything for everyone & trying to be perfect & still losing. It’s the same stuff all of the time…clean the house, do the dishes, do the laundry, help everyone plus try to lose weight, stop drinking, stop smoking. The house is still dirty, dishes are always there, I’ve gained weight & I can’t even enjoy a cigarette. I just wanna cry (again) and go back to bed. I know this is just part of it & I’ll probably end up having an awesome day but right now it sucks!!!
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Hahaha, I hear ya. I feel the same sometimes, like it’s ground hog day! The frustration passes just need to take a break and do something for yourself. I hung on to my nicotine. Think it’s better to quit one thing at a time personally:man_shrugging:t3:. I’m not a big aa fan but to use one of their raps… it’s progress, not perfection!! Hang in their meja your not alone!
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Thank you Miguel
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I remember these feelings. It is completely normal. You are seeing the world with clean eyes. First, there is no way you or anyone can be perfect… don’t try, it will grind you up. Just be you. Progress not perfection. As far as the house stuff… lol, I have three kids and a wife who are all slobs… seriously complete slobs. After a while I just figured one room at a time. There are so many other things to worry about than the dishes and a dirty rug. You are doing great! Just keep remembering that.
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Thanks Tim!
Heather!!!! I quite everything within a month of sobriety. I believe this was achieved by taking steps 1, 2, & 3. Being of service helped a lot as it took me out of myself and into helping others…
Exercise has been a huge roll in my sobriety. Step 4 helped me see my part in all of my behaviors. Now that I’ve cleaned up my past and working on my behaviors I’m seeing how my life is very calm, joyous and free. I’m no longer worried about what others are doing, saying or thinking. The last but not least is putting my trust in a higher power. The power of prayer and meditation has changed my life. I’ll pray for your healing. Have a blessed day filled with love and peace within.
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You definitely have to be careful with those feelings. My twisted brain turned my blessings into resentments. Taking care of the family can certainly be exhausting and seem endless. I know for me, daddy needed a break! Daddy felt unappreciated!! Daddy was tired of always giving, and getting nothing in return!! Daddy wanted to run away and be left alone. Daddy wanted someone to love and appreciate him. In reality daddy had a blessed life. He had a beautiful family who did love him. He had so much, but he couldn’t see it because he didn’t care of himself. He forgot that he was sick. He stopped taking his medication (daily program of recovery) and went off the rails.
Do you know what daddy really needed? Daddy needed a meeting! Daddy needed a sponsor! Daddy needed sine fellowship with others that share this same illness! Daddy needed some gratitude!! Daddy needed to share his frustrations and get feedback from friends. Daddy did need a break, but had things all twisted. Now a break consists of going to a meeting and then dinner with some friends afterwards. Morning meditation is also a great escape. Please learn to take care of your mental health, and get involved in a recovery program. You are worth it. You and your family deserve it!
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Why stop smoking right now? Getting sober is hard enough. Besides what are you gonna do at AA meetings if you don't smoke? Haha. Stop trying to be "perfect" that sh7t doesn't exist, and stop doing everything for everyone. If you have time accountable then maybe others can be accountable to. Ease up, relax, it'll be okay. You can only do what you can do.
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Thank you Kevin. I have a lot of tools, #1 being God. Overall I’m doing pretty well, I’m just tired of the emotional roller coaster. I get tired of analyzing all of my thoughts. But I know I’m on the right track. Anything is better than being hungover & feeling shame & regret.
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I know I’m blessed, you’re right. I guess I was just having a pity party. I need to communicate my feelings better with my family, I’m not great at that & then I blow up.
Thanks Taylor. Stopping smoking was always my main objective so I had to quit drinking because it goes hand in hand for me.
I understand.
Thank you Jake
This is a good thread 
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Perfect? Who says you have to be perfect? You have 15 days. You're just getting started. My advice is that you don't put any expectations on yourself or anything in life. It's enough trouble just getting through one day at a time without picking up a drink. It sounds to me like you're trying to get 10 years of sobriety in 15 days.
As far as cleaning goes, it sounds to me like you're trying to be a responsible wife and mother. My hat is off to you. Just pick one room and forget about the rest of the rooms. Only concentrate on that room and that room only. When that room is over give yourself a pat on the back. Maybe you can do another room the following day. Or you could do another room later on in the day. The choice is up to you. But if you don't get it done right now, it's okay. You're Sober! Hooray!
Take a deep breath and take it slow. We didn't get this way overnight and we're not going to get better overnight. I've heard it said that it's 10 miles into the woods and 10 Mi back out.
Oh and by the way, you are not losing. You are winning!
I'm probably going to sound like a philosopher here. One of the great truths in life is that life is tough. Many people never accept the fact that life is tough and they become victims in their own mind. These people, sadly take this to the grave.
Then there are those of us who accept the fact that life is tough. Once you accept the fact that life is tough, the fact that life is tough no longer matters and we learn to excel in life.
There's always going to be laundry to be done. There's always going to be dishes to be done. That's just part of life. You're just doing what everyone else is doing in everyone else's house. At least that's the way it happens in my house.
And by the way, you can probably get the people in your house depending on how old they are to share in some of this responsibility. Who says that you have to do it all? In my household everyone does everything and everyone shares in all of the responsibilities. We don't have to sit down and discuss who's responsibility it is this week to do this or that.
If somebody sees it needs to be done they just do it.
I hope in the middle of all this that you're getting in some serious meeting time. If you're not getting in any meetings, you are skating on thin ice. If you want to get better. You need to do what is suggested. Go to meetings, find a sponsor that will walk you through the 12 steps. This is truly the road to sanity.
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Such awesome advice Dave! Thank you☺️ I do split things up from day to day & always feel better after I’ve accomplished something. I know I’m blessed to have family to clean up after. I know I’ll have emotional days & know I don’t have to be perfect. But it’s nice to hear sometimes☺️ Thank you again
Great comment Tim. After leaving a comment of my own I looked at yours and I thought well heck I just repeated everything he just said. LOL
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It’s still nice to hear again Dave
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Thanks
Here's wishing you a better morning tomorrow.
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