Been sober for several years now, but things go back and forth in life. Drives me crazy as what u do in my carer should keep me sober, but this just shows that addiction and mental health don’t discriminate. I’m still sober and doing ok, but there are times I wish I could go hide and at the least smoke. I know I can’t and I know I won’t, but I don’t have anyone to talk to about it anymore. I need some friends to chat with at times.
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Are you going to AA? I've made so many wonderful friends there.
I really really like what my friend Jenny B told me..."we don't get sober to be miserable! We get sober to love" 
In my journey for me lately I'm looking researching childhood/generational trauma (the source of my pain which led me to unhealthy addictions as a survival response) for me...it's not just staying sober! Having compassion for myself at all stages in my life has been enlightening. I highly highly recommend Doctor Gabor Mate (author) and has excellent talks on utube. He's far more eloquent than I can attempt to be