I've been struggling with sobriety for the past 6 years, telling people that I'm sober when in reality my partner and I are still using off and on. I want to go to college to start my own addiction services program, but I can't do that if I'm not 100% sober...I would be a hypocrite. I have chronic pain which is why I started using in the first place, and I am on methadone and prescribed 6 8mg hydromorphones a day by my addiction clinic. I want off methadone, but they're telling me that I won't be able to ever get off methadone and stay on hydromorphone without going on another longer lasting opiate on top of that. Am I wrong in thinking that I have the right to refuse medication that I don't want?
3 Likes
Refuse it! Get clean completely
Thank you for your honesty in sharing your true self and your struggle. I can’t speak about the medications because I am not a physician. Keep an open mind and an open heart. Talk to your doctor about your sincere desires. Take time to listen to your higher power. The answer will come to you. And fairly quickly when you are willing to “hear” it.
That would be ideal but as someone with as someone with a disability, that's easier said than done. I have Cerebral Palsy along with a bunch of other physical problems associated with the CP that have been causing me chronic pain and mobility issues for years. It's debilitating at times, so unfortunately I do need something to help with the pain when it's needed. Though it's always there, the level of pain varies depending on the day and my activities. My goal is to get off methadone, and have something for the pain that I won't need to take to just live...if that makes sense. My family Dr wants to help me get off methadone and is in the process of injection therapy referrals for me. Hopefully that's all I will need. A couple of shots every few months is much better than the stuff I take everyday.
Yes you can do it.
I'm too on methadone I know Im in pain all the time but I can't control my pain meds I'll abuse it. So I'm not sure where I'll go from here until I can fix my addiction and my pain,I'm gonna have to leave it in God's hands.
@Lisa Belcher I feel for you... I'm pretty much in the same position. I don't want to be on the methadone and wish I didn't need anything at all. I have been trying to get my Dr's to help me figure out how to get me on the path I want to be on when it comes to this. I was told that if I wanted to get off of methadone completely, I would have to take a long-lasting morphine along with the lower dose morphine if I ever wanted to get off methadone. I refuse to take the long-lasting morphine because it makes me throw up. When I first spoke to this dr about my pain, he suggested that I get injection therapy in my back, and said they would help me, gave me an MRI requisition, and from that point on (this was like over a year ago) every time I bring it up to them, they look at me like I have a horn coming out of my head... like they have no idea what I'm talking about. Apparently you only have to go to injection therapy monthly, instead of taking something daily. Maybe you can talk to your methadone Dr about that. It might be beneficial to you, you never know. I know a couple of people that go monthly to get a shot in their back...or maybe your family Dr, if your methadone Dr is anything like mine. I got tired of being made to feel like I'm delusional, like what I'm saying isn't being heard, that I'm stupid and don't know what I'm talking about. My family Dr is actually willing to help me figure out if there's anything else that can be done for my pain without having to be on a bunch of different meds every day, and is starting the process to refer me to the specialist. Methadone Dr's just want $$$. I used to be on 200ms of methadone with 150mgs of kadian( slow release long-lasting morphine) every day...and every time I said I didn't want to be this high and wanted to find a different pain management, all the dr did was apologize for my pain and tell me that what I just said was 
interesting, then ask ME what I thought, when I am the one coming to her for help...then she would just up my meds. My husband has had enough damage to his heart since seeing that dr, it's like he's had 4 heart attacks. The whole system is frustrating. They just started this program at my clinic where if you're still using, the dr prescribes you pills that are the equivalent to whatever you're using. They give them out as daily carries...so people only get as many as they need for the day, so we don't abuse them I guess...but get this...these Dr's are prescribing people up to 30 friggin pills a day! A day! Because of their "pain"... they're too stupid to realize that they're just flooding the town with pills now. I know people who just sell them as soon as they get them. I actually need something like that and they denied me until I put my foot down and made them hear me. Sorry for the long rant, I guess it was a bit of a vent... and apparently it still bothers me,lol...I really hope that you can get some kind of genuine pain relief....and don't take no for an answer. You matter... your pain is real and your reasons for wanting it to stop are obviously valid. I wish that there was no such thing as addiction - that we could all just enjoy things in moderation and be okay. I want to help take people's pains and addictions away. You're in my prayers 
. God bless.
1 Like
Melissa that's not true. I have worked in the recovery field for a very long time I specialized and adult treatment facilities specifically for people that were on methadone. If you'd like to chat sometime I would love to chat with you cuz don't believe what people tell you. Cuz a lot of that stuff excuse my language is just bullshit. You can send me a message at 612-235-1819 my name is Jim long. Look forward to talking to you helping you work through this. Might be a little hard but you got this it's easy when it comes right down to it.
I didn't think so. These guys just want any reason to keep us on methadone and to get us on as high a dose as possible... it's disgusting.
Yes as much as I hate to admit it you are absolutely 150% correct. It is disgusting. It's a portion of the medical field and the recovery system I don't agree with. It's there for a reason.
It is disgusting when I'm trying to lead a meeting in a small group and I got guys falling out falling off their chair drooling cuz they just went and dosed and they're trying to fight a fight that I'm not interested in fighting and they tell me that it's just not enough for them and like whatever. It's disgusting you are right.
Your honesty and self-awareness is the first step. You’re right about needing some solid recovery time before stepping into addiction services, but your commitment and authenticity shows so it’s very achievable!
When it comes to methadone, it’s true that many clinics encourage patients to stay on it due to high relapse rates in people who taper too soon. They base it on general statistics, but recovery is personal…what works for one person might not work for another. You have every right to make decisions about your own body and treatment. If you’re working a strong program and feel confident in your recovery, the choice to taper or not is yours to make. Trust yourself, trust your recovery, lean on this community for support. You’re already showing the determination and heart to make this happen. Proud of you!