Been struggling with sobriety for over 20 years now. Can't

Recovery
#1

Been struggling with sobriety for over 20 years now. Can't seem to get it. Currently in hospital with my first alcohol induced attack of pancreatitis. Horrendous painful experience. Also managed to damage my liver some in the process. Fortunately both conditions are reversible at this point, but ONLY if I don't drink again. I'm scared that this experience won't be enough for me to reach out to the people I know in my AA group. To accept help. To follow instructions. There is part of me that just wants to give up, I have a hard time seeing anything but a bleak future. But I also wonder if I am able to be happy, joyous and free, and how that would feel.

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#2

Nobody deserves to be miserable. The addiction just wants to destroy your life. There is no shame in asking for help. Let that foolish pride go and you will get the help you need. Good he doctor told you… drink again and you will die. Don’t give up, keep fighting. You are still here and kicking for a reason… won’t it be exciting to find out what that reason is?

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#3

I guess it would be cool to find out why God has kept me alive so far. I thought my purpose was to help people ( I was a nurse for over 25 years before booze took that,too) I don't know what I'm meant to be now.

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#4

Well I am glad you are here to find out

#5

Now is the time for you to ask God for help and really mean it. He did for me what I couldn't do for myself when I felt there was absolutely no hope at all. Get back to meetings, and get involved in any way possible. Stay strong, don't drink and God for help.

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#6

Hope you heed your warning that was given. There is so much on the future. You can be happy, and free and have so much purpose. Reach out for help. Use that time for you.

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#7

I too landed myself in the hospital with alcohol induced pancreatitis. Also had damage to my liver. Was in the hospital for 17 days, had to have a feeding tube stapled into my stomach! I chose life at that point, and haven’t had a single drink since. That will be 3 years ago next month. Choose life! I wish I could show you my “then and now” photos. Freeing yourself from alcohol will be the most liberating thing you can do! Stay strong!

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#8

Thank u

#9

So you know how scared I am right now.

#10

Yes I do! I hope you are able to stay in the hospital and do your detox and recovery at the same time as they treat you for the pancreatitis. That’s what saved me. :heart: I’m praying for you. I know this is such a tough time but you can get through it!

#11

Thank u

#12

Fuuuuck that. Reach out to your AA people asap. You can "ask god" all you want, but while you're waiting, get your a$$ to meetings and talk to the people you know.

You can do this.

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#13

I agree, Taylor. God can move mountains but I still best bring a shovel. I've been reaching out to people. And did an online meeting tonight on another recovery website. Reading the big book. I know it has finally come down to life or death for me. No point in whining about that I never thought it would happen to me. It has and will again if I drink.

#14

It has always been "life or death". It just takes us awhile to realize it sometimes. ...

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#15

Love straight talk!

#16

I've been straight talkin' for years. I'm really applying it to myself now, though.

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