Before I moved to phoenix, I did 7 months without any alcohol. The new environment, the new job, the new life I was ecstatic about was bright, but ultimately, blinding. I drank socially thinking, I got this. This will help me connect. And it did, for a while. I can tread water in a whirlpool for a hot minute, I am strong that way. But I tire myself, and eventually succumb to liquid in my lungs. Clearly, I cannot mitigate after the initial drinks enter my body. I'm ostensibly fine, for weeks or months, but I will overdo it eventually and all it takes is one night to destroy my progress.
There is no mindful drinking for me. There is only abstinence which for those 7 months, wasn't difficult. I attended no meetings, had no temptations. I was dancing in crowds at shows and went home remembering everything. Clearly, that's the road I have to take. I don't need to be "normal". A normal drinker, a normal partier. I can take shots of ginger ale with my friends at bars just as before and still be loved. I can stay up late and giggle through the night, having conscious connections with the people around me with them never wondering, "when is she gonna crack? An I safe?" I'm more than capable but I've been pouring myself into a mold that was never meant for me - a social drinker, the "fun" friend (until she's not) and that's not for me.
This may look like a status I posted a few months ago. I've been working hard with yoga and therapy and my new job and my progress was notable and meaningful but I gave myself in inch, took a mile that led off a precipice. I pulled people I love down with me. I just wanted to share. Sharing helps and heals. So does time and change behavior. My future is still bright and it's the only thing I have a shred of control over. So connect with me if you're feeling the same way! We will all be ok and are worth grace and love and, ultimately, the ability to look back and think, "Wow. Look how far I have come".
I love all of this. Way to put yourself first. You rock girl💪🏻
Great share Christina 
I commend you on sharing this with us. As a community of individuals that are looking to better ourselves from this insufferable disease we are here for you.
Please keep sharing & reaching out.
May your day be a prosperous & productive start to an amazing week.
Keep up the good work & get back on a good streak
That’s great. I know for me personally, I was a fully functional individual except where alcohol was concerned. I enjoyed the sense of ease and comfort it brought and the conviviality that followed a few drinks. However, I had little to no control over the amount I drank once I started. I stay sober one day at a time and life is good if I practice a few principles.
Glad you’re here. It’s a good life in sobriety.