Before my wife,I quit using each drug one by one and before I met my wife,I was a little over a year clean off the meth(drug of choice besides alcohol and pills)and I was in a very rough situation plus court for my last 2 charges plus I was off my meds for half a year up to that point and my self harm tendencies was bad,I was drinking a lot still and it got even worse after I lost a very close street brother to me who was like a little brother. I don't know what it is that my wife was attracted to about me but she seen eomething good despite my darkness. We've been together for almost 5 year's and she continues to save me from myself. I've been sober from alcohol for close to 3 year's and this isn't my first rodeo with sobriety from both drug's and alcohol. I've had addictions before I was 13,had been arrested for violent crime's all because I was protecting my kid sister before I was 13. My upbringing growing up was violent and very dark. My first memory as a very young child is a violent one. I remember every little detail and remember how old my kid sister was. I raised myself and protected my sister and risked everything for her. After our Dad passed away in 2008,I became the man of the house and went to school,worked 7 night's a week and was doing that when my Dad got sick before finding out it was the cancer. He was still pretty young and there's more to it I don't talk much about...rather forget the worse of my Dad when his cancer spread. I was still going to school,taking care of my step mom and all of that at the age of 17. My childhood was robbed of me too young so I made sure at a young age to make sure my sister didn't have to live my life. My severe PTSD and high anxiety,BPD and everything else I have f*cks me up everytime none stop,even at work. My section leader puts me in the same process every time I'm in where I get to work alone and he knows I do my best work alone and I don't like to talk much in person unless I'm very nervous around the person. I don't and never will talk about everything about my past and if I tell someone even nearly a quarter of my past,it means I trust that person enough to talk about certain things. Like I said...my past is dark
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