Its so onvious to me now that ive relied on codependency, drugs and liqour to feel contentment and ease. But as we all know. That loneliness wasnt the only thing ive been running from. How come ive had such a hard time just (being) with me. Once the people are gone. Once the drugs,booze,internet and chaos are gone, i finally am painfully aware that those things have kept me from getting to know myself. And why has that been the scariest thing ive ever done? You see in my sobriety ive been forced to asked these questions. If i have to live without toxic people,dope and booze, how do i make peace within? It takes mindfulness, kindness, and grace. Being aware of my thoughts, patterns and feelings. Being kind enough to be gentle towards myself. Enough of this hurting myself more for hurting.
Ive been through enough. I deserve peace and kindness just like everybody. I deserve love. And i will work everyday giving myself that love and kindness. So that the void i was filling with substance becomes filled with love,kindness and compassion. It takes work everyday, but peace is visible. And it feels great. May you make peace ,be kind and be gentle woth yourself today 
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