Being Honest

Recovery
#21

You got it brother. In it to win it!

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#22

When I saw the cardiac surgeon’s severely bitten nails … he said, “I used to be a heroin addict. Addiction is like having you head held under water.”

Think about how long his journey was …. It can be done

HOPE

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#23

Here's the deal, as I see it.
Pain is real.

If my only 2 choices were:

  1. Pull the trigger.
  2. Get high

I hope I get high. Live to fight another day with the pain.

My relationship with my Dr. is vital to my sobriety. He knows I'm an alcoholic. He knows that when I get a prescription for Vicodin I'm not going to take them as directed.

He knows that, because I told him so - being honest is paramount.

But he also knows, that if I'm in pain for too long, and can't get relief from a narcotic, I will eventually solve my problem by drinking. That, is my number 1 danger. Because once I start, I don't stop until my life is burnt to the ground, I'm broke, hooked up to IVs in the hospital with a .4ish BAC.

Have I misused a prescription since my last drink? Yes, I have. But it got me through the pain, with 0 consequences - my life is not burnt to the ground, and I have 0 shame and guilt about it.

Sobriety isn't a contest. It's a choice I've made, because when I drink, my life turns terrible in the end. And that's the only thing I want - a peaceful, meaningful life.

Don't beat yourself up so bad. Stay alive. Do the next right thing. If pain causes you setbacks, that's OK. Get back up and try again.

There's no award for AA / NA of year. Be honest, and ask for help when you need it.

Best Wishes!

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#24

Hi Josh, I just stay in the background and read for the most part. But I have to reach out to you. You’ve been going through some rough times lately, but you’re still very much an inspiration. You’re always the first to welcome newcomers, you’re always trying to help others find their way, and I just want you to know when I’m having cravings or a rough time it’s your comments that comfort me most. And I’m here if you need someone. 6016738041. Text or call if you need. I would love to be for you, what you’ve been to a lot of us here. You’re gonna make it.

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#25

Stay anyway :heart:

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#26

That's the hard truth and most, thank God will never know that kind of reality much less understand. I don't regret this past use. I had two choices and this one was survivable. I am always searching out a 3rd option and rarely does ot come to that, but yeah, thanks for understanding. I hope to one day remove that. Choice and be able to struggle through it. My doctors are working on providing me a 3rd and best option. Unfortunately with the VA things move slowly and options are limited.

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#27

I’m really sorry about all that you are going through & I will pray for you. I urge to look up Annie Grace because she is the best in the field when it comes to the science & psychology of giving up alcohol. She doesn’t deal with drug use disorders but her ACT technique can help with that. ACT stands for AWARENESS, Clarity & Turnaround. She wrote 2 books that are very enlightening & were game changers for me!. She also co-wrote a book about nicotine for people trying to quit smoking. She has podcasts & answers readers questions on YouTube. I also downloaded her app on my phone called This Naked Mind Companion App

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#28

Thank you, Rebecca. The prayers and encouragement are both very welcome and highly appreciated. I will certainly look her up as well as familiarize myself with the ACT techniques. I will take all of the help I can get!

#29

I pray that you find Jesus :pray:t3:

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#30

I have Jesus. I just lose sight sometimes. Ya dig?

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#31

Josh, I see you on here helping so many others with your kind and helpful words. We are gonna need you to stick around!

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#32

Josh, as so many people have said, you are a true inspiration and always there to support anyone struggling. I couldn’t agree more but we need to rally around you during this tough time for You. People with chronic pain have a struggle unlike anything anyone can understand unless they’ve been or are going through it. Your honesty about this is so real and heartbreaking. I pray for you daily, for relief, finding option #3, for serenity and hope. You are searching for an end to the pain, not yourself, and I pray God blesses you with that. We want you here. You’re doing what you have to to get by, whatever it takes to overcome choosing a permanent solution. I get that. No one wants that for you. You are a precious valuable human being. I won’t stop praying for you Josh. God hears our prayers, knows our pain and struggles. I pray He will take your pain away🙏

#33

Brother I also have those voices. I keep being told that I will never be good enough to fix all the pain that I have caused. But God says that is when he is strong, through our weakness. Keep your eyes on Him and his spirit will guide you.

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#34

Thank you Josh Ua for being so inspiring to me along the way. I will say some prayers today. 4 months ago a friend/classmate and drinking pal offed himself at the same beach I walk every day. Everyday I pass the spot and think to myself “ But for the Grace of God go I “”.

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#35

Hang tough. you're not alone in the amount of pain, if that's any comfort. The world will be worse off without you, especially sober.

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