Being sober is scary
I’m just replying to what I just said but being sober is scary. It’s like I gave up my best friend who is not a really good friend at all but when you just like quit drinking it’s like who am I gonna talk to you? Yeah you have not been the best friend to me alcohol wine! But at least I had that at least I had that! And now that I’m not drinking and I only have a couple days but it’s almost like I miss it exclamation does that make sense to anybody it’s like yes it was horrible always horrible but I miss it I miss you Chardonnay you were like my best friend like you could always take care of me like anytime I feel sad I could just drink some of you and then we would just like quietly go into oblivion. I can’t say that I don’t miss you Chardonnay. But I am hopeful that I won’t miss you tomorrow when I don’t drink you in because you have not been really a good friend to me
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Makes lots of sense. Tried any meetings. Helps me a lot. Letting go of the way you cope is scary.
We spend too much time as addicts glamorizing the substance use and shitting on ourselves. Give yourself some time to do the opposite (stew in the awful things it brought you and love some of the new things you are rediscovering). If you aren’t there yet, this gets easier over time.
I’d recommend This Naked Mind to help you get there.
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I know that feeling of can’t live with it, but can’t live without it. The truth is that the alcohol was the solution to all of my problems, but that was long ago. As you say, alcohol hasn’t been very good to me for a long time. I must remind myself every day that alcohol doesn’t work for me anymore. If I don’t do this, I slowly “forget” this. I begin to forget, and only remember when it did work. Keep reminding yourself how bad it is. You can do this Terri 
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It really is, it’s so hard to be in my own skin with out substances. It’s uncomfortable.
Yes, very much so. Thanks for being vulnerable. It’s very hard but inspiring to see people fight back. For me, I’m starting to discover how much I love going to bed sober, waking up sober, eating food sober, drinking cold water, being present for the relationships that I do have and giving myself the opportunity to learn how to cope with the spiritual misery that I’ve ignored and numbed out for as long as I can remember. Hang in there Terri! I promise you Chardonnay does not love you back but you can love yourself back if you give it a chance.
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This was tough for me as well. My close friends my roll dogs were the ones I was always with but drank with. It’s easier said than done but in time it’ll be easier and you’ll learn to, “love them from afar.” You’ll find peace.
Not being sober is even scarier. Especially when it becomes your life.
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