Last night I had a very intense experience that showed me how strong I really am and allowed me to wake up with immense gratitude for that strength.
Someone from my using life walked past as i was outside before going to bed and came up to say hi. I knew they had my d.o.c on them. They mentioned how other old "friends" were asking about me and wanting to get back in touch with me as I went away to treatment for 5 weeks prior. I said how I cannot associate with anyone involved with that lifestyle anymore as it is too triggering for me and not a healthy choice. He agreed, but continued to chat with me and I didnt want to be rude. The whole time that old "using me" was trying to push its way to the surface but I conciously kept fighting it away. I said my farewell politely and went inside, called my support network and went to bed shaken with the realization of how close of a call it really was and how easily i could have slipped.
This morning i woke up really feeling the gratitude for my sobriety and another day clean and sober 
