I’m not struggling is what denial does have me in full on pain. racing throughout my mind, I got this I’m good with God I have support in recovery I have this I have that. Things got better then right when I said that stuff just got wacky.
I have this huge crush on this guy and I’m so into him yet the feeling isn’t the same for him.
That I have to accept and not to verbalize my every way to try to come text him.
If he doesn’t respond I should take a hint that he just doesn’t want me in that way.
Yet this feeling after seeing him then him not responding tonight even though he responds every other time of the day or week. Yeah after. Just text this on struggling I realize I’m spiraling. So this feeling will pass.
I don’t know if anyone can relate it’s like a real thing.
I have a gut feeling he is into this other girl in the meetings so I’m just letting this feeling out cause I feel stupid mean and ugly.
I know better then to say this but saying anything else would be me suppressing my feelings and it’s late at night I’m can’t sleep cause I’m thinking of this that or the other.
just deleted all the texts I texted him so I don’t have to see the words.
Sounds dumb. I always end up this way, I gotta do something different. I always fall in all the way with my heart. I just wish I could get the both of them out of my head. Cause I see them sitting together and it’s not me and him together.
Feel like I’m going crazy and it’s been a month since I slept with him.
Grateful to be alive and well.
Holy cow can I relate. First of all, so glad you did let this out and you are NOT stupid, mean, or ugly.
I had a very similar situation that had a hold over me for a long time. Would text and it’d be hours or days before something back. But as soon as I got the text I’d get excited and hopeful. And yeah tough when you’ve slept together as was also my case. But I was let down over and over yet I kept letting it happen over and over. We deserve better and have to know this.
I heard this thing the other day that helped me and might help you. (Matthew Hussey video- good guy to check out)
When we are feeling stupid, mean, ugly, pathetic(how I felt) -feeling the worst is brought out of us because this person is not the person for you.
The right person will never leave you hanging/ guessing/ feel confused. No sense in wasting time with the wrong one- the right one will come a long. Focus on YOU!
Awesome share Tasia …. It’s nice to get it all out …. You’re right tho … this to shall pass
Hang in there,,, thank you so much for sharing…..
I really needed to hear that. Thank you. I’m going to check myself more before I start to obsess over what I have no control over. It’s just so crazy it goes this way sometimes. Focus 
on me and my higher power wil destroy anything that isn’t for me. Destroy was a harsh word. Enlighten anything that is or isn’t for me.