Everywhere I turn, there is something triggering my pain, anger, resentment, or fear.
A rational mind would think "well that's normal, considering all the trauma you've been through and all the lack in your life right now."
buzzer noise wrong
It's explicit, downright obnoxious. It's almost if god itself was intentionally taunting me.
I would normally say the god I know and love would NEVER do that, but here I am experiencing these things and writing this post.
I always hear people say that if god didn't step in and come to their rescue, they would have been in a crisis or worse.
My life right now is as if I'm going head-to-head with a force greater than myself who is relentless in their pursuit to extinguish my joy.
I'm searching for the wisdom, the lesson, the purpose, the REAL reason behind the destruction in my life, and not the fabricated idea I have in my mind for what the reason is.
There has to be a reason, right?
If god is powerful enough to torture me in this way, isn't god powerful enough to give me a straight and direct answer to its ends?
