Boyfriend dilemma

Update, David advised me to confront him to not jump to conclusions about what I see from my own perspective. To give someone the benefit of doubt. So I texted him and told him that it hurts me to see him in pictures with another woman let alone to know that she spends the night with him. He told me that I shouldn’t be bothered because they don’t kiss or fool around. Than I told him that I’m also upset that I haven’t met many of his close friends, he hasn’t responded yet. Frankly I feel like nothing he says will bring me comfort because he’s not addressing the fact that he’s hurt me. I feel worse having told him how I feel, I don’t know why but I feel hurt, sad and angry all at once. I hate this feeling right now. I hope that eventually it will pass

2 Likes

He doesn't have to go to the next level of intimacy. I'm glad you advocated for yourself but that he was untruthful...you have to do whatever is the right path for you

1 Like

I really feel for you Rosey! It's true don't jump to conclusions but don't let someone treat you like a fool either? Trust your gut and protect yourself. Emotional heartbreak :broken_heart: has always been a trigger for me and I know it's hard not knowing? But don't pick up and call a friend who you trust. You are beautiful, you are worth it and be strong :rage::face_with_symbols_over_mouth:! Don't let Anyone have power over your :heart: heart!

3 Likes

Update, I can’t tell you how much your feedback and advice means to me. Thank you with all my heart and soul. I decided I am going to end this relationship, I am learning to love myself again and I can’t allow anyone to continually hurt me and disrespect me. So far I haven’t picked up and I don’t want to.

7 Likes

First, don’t try to avoid or suppress your feelings. If you do, you’ll create a resentment that will grow like cancer and never heal. So cry as much as you need, beat the sh@t out of a pillow—whatever it takes, and you may have to do this for weeks. One you accept and express your emotions, then you can think

4 Likes

more clearly about the situation. There’s no way around the pain, especially relapsing, so take it on now fully and honestly. It sucks but it’s the first step towards healing.

2 Likes

Glad you took action on things, and I hate that it ended up the way it did, and he didn’t acknowledge any of your pain nor speak to his untruthfulness. Relationships are hard as it is just trying to understand the dynamic between 2 people, and harder still when one is working on maintaining sobriety.

Had something happen last year where a girlfriend lied to me about drinking, and then passed it off as not a big deal. It became such an issue that I got angry every time I thought of her, and ultimately, on my birthday, broke ties, stopped investing in her and just started working on myself and my sobriety. Now, 6 months later, I’m seeing someone as a friend that has the same feelings toward alcohol as I do, respects my boundaries and I hers, and while the pain of one failed relationship and the negativity of someone that didn’t even understand my position and trauma surrounding a substance was and still exists in the world, energetically, it’s a lesson that I apply to my mindset and utilize to acknowledge and understand my emotions to help me better operate with a clear mind about similar situations I may find myself in.

I have hope that you heal from this and find a more amazing person out there that treats you with the respect you deserve.

1 Like

Time to move on

1 Like

I totally understand the sentiment of "I don't know what to do with all these feelings." It's like you are looking for a place to put something away in your house and there's just not a good spot. When I'm in feeling like that, I've come to realize that I've got a lot of extra pain from childhood stuff that sneaks in and just turns the pain dial to max. No wonder I didn't want to have to feel that. For me, slowing things down and learningall the reasons I'm upset (not just the most obvious one) helps to accept how i feel so that the feelings can pass. I have to constantly remind myself that feelings are trying to tell me something they think it's useful and they won't stop till i receive the message.

Beyond all that, I'm so glad you realized that you deserve a more supportive and emotionally invested partner. It sucks that you had to go through this but I hope you can also feel proud too. :heart:

1 Like