Boyfriend dilemma

My boyfriend told me he was sick and then on Facebook I see pictures of him with another woman at the Rockefeller center Christmas tree. One of the comments asked if that was his new girlfriend. We’ve been seeing each other for two years now. I’m so hurt, I am so enraged. I’m trying to figure out how and what to do with these emotions in place of what I used to do which was get high as a kite. I welcome any and all advice right now

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Dump him. I got out of a relationship 6 months ago that was for 8 years. I know it sucks to be single but maybe this can be a stepping stone for you to a better life. After time has passed I'm very happy I am not with that person anymore.

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Leave him do not respond to calls text or anything. Go to meetings. Talk with you support group. If you have a sponsor call them. I have dealt with pretty much the same situation before. It will drive you crazy if you let it. Find someone who loves you. Do not settle. Also love yourself you are worth it.

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Sorry Rosey,
Remember that no matter what happens picking up is not going to make it better or easier. It also won’t change anything. Hang in there and focus on the steps. Call your sponsor and others in the program.
This too shall pass.

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Girllllllllllllll he’s got to go and you already know this. You are worth sooo much more. You deserve better. There’s no telling how many other times he’s lied to you in the past 2 years. So focus on your future. Sobriety. Love yourself. Block his number, delete him on all social media block him there too. Don’t and I repeat don’t take him back. Once a cheater ALWAYS a cheater. Keep on reaching out we’re here! Do you have a sponsor?

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Dump that waste of oxygen.

You don’t need this nonsense … your health, recovery, sobriety and self-worth are not worth any sacrifice to this scumbag. I concur with all comments above. Take good care of yourself and know that so many of us care!

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Wowwww! Kick the disgusting pig to the curb! Love yourself. You deserve more! I’d have his nads in a jar! :joy:

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Update, he told me that he took those pictures early in December and posted them just now what’s worse he tried to tell me there just friends but that she spent the night with him and I guess he sees nothing wrong with that. I’m ignoring his text messages. This really hurts me because I invested two years into this relationship

I was about to say... Christmas is over? But that explains it. Although, still not okay. And good on you for not wasting your energy on him anymore. If you think about it, 2 years is a blip in time. I promise you are worth more and deserve more. Continue to work on yourself and the rest will follow.

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You are worth SO more than lies and excuses. Find your worth. You WILL find it in sobriety without the shame and guilt from using. I fearfully took a leap into the sober life and I met the man that I had prayed for and it is better than I could have imagined. You will have to face the pain of change but I promise you it is so very worth it.

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That’s just a boy…not a friend

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Well you found out who he really is. Sucks that that happened to you. You definitely deserve better for yourself. As someone said earlier, this too shall pass

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Obviously he made your decision for you.. he had rather be with someone else.. dump him..!!

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Let him go. Get rid of all persons, places, and things that don’t bring you peace.

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Take a screenshot and confront him on it; it’s easy to jump to conclusions about what you know and see from your perspective, and it does sound like he’s unfaithful, but always give someone the benefit of the doubt, trust your instincts but verify the situation before making a decision. Hope everything works out for you, either way.

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I'm sorry about your trouble.

Most people don't like my advice when it comes to relationship problems but at age 64, I can tell you that I have a whole lifetime of experience making bad decisions in that department.

Once I became willing to follow the advice of my AA sponsor years ago, everything started to make more sense and I started making better decisions in my life.

It looks like you've only been sober for about 2 months.
For good reasons, we in AA don't recommend any major decisions within the 1st year because a year from now you will be looking through a different set of lenses.

I highly recommend putting your marriage on hold for an indefinite period of time.
First Things First.

Work on you first.

I would recommend getting some quality sobriety time under your belt and figuring out the causes and conditions of your drinking and drugging problem. This is done by finding a sponsor and taking the 12 steps of AA.

What do you get when you get a horse thief sober?

A sober horse thief.

Drinking and/or drugs was only a symptom of our problem. We have to get down to causes and conditions.

Making major decisions in our lives before we uncover that mess can have consequences down the road.

Once you can get through all of that mess then you will probably be able to make better sense of where you are regarding any relationship.

Chances are this may be a relationship that you don't belong in, in the 1st place.

If there was any addiction problems going on when you met your fiancee there's a good chance that the whole thing was a mistake to begin with. Just maybe.

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You deserve better. Move on and stay sober. I know it’s going to be tough but drinking will only make things worse.

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Likely a narcissist. I got out of a four year relationship with one who still tries to delight in trying to manipulate me. Best to ignore them. It actually drives them crazy.

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He is not worth relapsing over.

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So sorry you went through that period and just because he doesn't respect you doesn't mean you concur with his behavior. You are a woman of dignity today and worth of love.

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