Danielle, “you got this” and “stay strong” seem empty because they are. These are not principles of a program of recovery. Replace them with “ I am powerless over alcohol and my life is unmanageable” and “I have ceased fighting anyone and everything”.
The Big book says “I am without strength or resource” concerning alcohol. I suggest you surrender to find relief. I have and found relief.
I’ve heard of TLC but I’ve yet to check it out. I will, thanks!
Thank you Betty.
AA saved my life. But it’s not for everyone, there are lots of other recovery programs and options. The only way to move forward is to confront your addiction and get relief from the behavioral patterns.
you’re in the right place and asking for help that’s a big step.
Totally in the same boat. I think if we are able to get past the short term sobriety the rewards will come? Heck if I know. Seems like everyone in long term sobriety is clear and happy so maybe we just have to have patience and determination till we get there. 


Hoping this helps. I am 51. I was active for over 30 years. It only gets worse. I’m not an AA fan either though I practice the program theoretically. The consequences get worse. The people who enable you, not family, the partners you choose, etc., get worse. The hangovers get worse. The things you do to yourself and others get worse. The only way out is through. However you choose to go through is up to you, but there is no other way or it’s just rinse and repeat.
From what I can tell and honestly deep down know, even when sober for a decent period of time there are still great struggles…cause that is just life!! And I get that. My biggest issue right now is feeling more alone than before. My friends have their own lives going on, my parents have moved back to their hometown, it’s nothing more than being in a place in life where others seemingly have more going on than I do. I’m trying to look at things from a different perspective. People who are not single and able to “do as they please” could easily envy my situation. So, for instance, today I woke up after having not drank the evening before and had the energy to ride my bike with a group in the hills (yes Florida has hills). After that I went to the beach and swam in the water during some rain which was just lovely. Yet, I am now home, alone, and guess what? I’m drinking wine. Because I have no one else to answer to and it’s the most enjoyable option right now. Also, I’m not drinking shots, which is typically what I do before the wine. So here I am viewing this as a “win”. Maybe I should. I staved off the drink longer than usual. Didn’t get the stronger hit that always sends me into a spiral immediately. But I’m still drinking to avoid emotions. So maybe it’s not a win. And it’s only with some drink in me that I can go on like this. Which is why talk therapy hasn’t seemed to do me much good…
No one can blame you for self-medicating. I'm certain I would still be drinking if I were not medicated and attending therapy.
I also attend a large AA Speaker meeting on Saturday nights that you might be interested in that has like 200-300 people in attendance. I'm not participating in the 12 steps, and no one has pressured me to.
Have a friend come to support you. They don't have to have a drinking problem, just someone that supports you.
Hit me with a friend request, because I'm not sure I can post details without violating the rules here.
No pressure, just trying to help.
Do you have a therapist to help you?
Let's see if this gets deleted...
https://www.meetings.aatampa-area.org/meetings/saturday-night-fever-group/
I relate to this big time. I’m single, live alone, work from home.. so I have an almost daily battle in my head of, I could just drink today and literally no one would know. I succumbed to that battle through all of COVID and not a single person in my life knew what was happening. I tried antidepressants and they made me suicidal which is what finally alerted my family to what was going on and they weren’t going to let me go home alone again until I got real help so I checked into a rehab. So I was forced to get treatment and it was the rehab that put me on a medication that did finally help. Still a daily struggle to not drink because I’m still home alone all the time but rehab + medication + the accountability of my family finally knowing the truth was what gave me enough of a head start in recovery that I really want to stick with it. Not advice, just my own story.. maybe you’ll find it helpful. Sending good vibes yourway 