Bumming pretty hard far too much lately. Loneliness, over sleeping

Recovery
#1

Bumming pretty hard far too much lately. Loneliness, over sleeping and over eating are at a high. Motivation is at a great low. Giving into the drink every 3ish days now. Finding it super hard to snap myself out of these feelings. Mid thirties and it feels like I’ve fallen so very far behind everyone despite having had all the opportunities to be in a better position in life. Tired of being told to rush off to AA (not a fan), tired of “stay strong!” and “you got this!” so effortlessly offered as support. Tired of the rat race society that seems inescapable when you know in your soul that you need to escape for some time, to find yourself, but not in a place where only the seemingly hopeless are thrown to “recover”.

Woe is me, right?

10 Likes
#2

I resonate with so much of this right now. Feeling very stuck and not seeing a path out of it, pissed and ashamed of where I am in life, hyper aware of self pity and not letting it up for air, annoyed at the good intentioned advice from others who can’t experience it, but seem to know there’s a simple fix to it all that you’re just not willing to try.

1 Like
#3

Yep, I feel all of that. Sigh. Really want “just today I won’t drink” to hold more weight in the midst of the strong urge.

1 Like
#5

It took me months of treatment and living in a sober house to get 5months. I know will power and my thoughts alone wouldn’t keep me dry. The urges have lessened quite a bit…but now it’s trying to navigate the world and integrate recovery at the same time that seems almost impossible. Feels incompatible. Sprinkle a dash of major depressive disorder in the mix and yeah, sleeping 12-14 hours is no problem, stomach is a bottomless pit.

1 Like
#6

FLick “everyone” and where they’re at. You’re all that matters right now. Is there a bike ride you can take that’s special to you ? I get it; you just want to sleep. It’s my go to when I’m unhappy or depressed. It will only prolong your loneliness though. Take any small action that can bring you happiness: a short walk, light a scented candle or burn incense, get some sun, change sheets on bed and then lay in it and love yourself for fixing a fresh bed….There are so many people that will help you so posting on here is a great start ! I won’t tell you that “you got this” but I can say it’s yours if you go get it. So get this sh!t !!

2 Likes
#7

Hey Danielle! I hear the frustration in your words. Sounds as if you’ve been battling this quite some time. You know I’m probably just going to say the same old :poop: that you’ve heard 1000 times before. So fine…I’m not going to give you any advice or suggestions. Instead, I’d like to hear what you would tell a dear friend that was struggling with this if they came to you for help? One last thing Danielle. You are sick. You have an illness that is extremely difficult for many of us to get a grip on. You are not a bad or weak person. You are just sick. Be good to yourself and get some help. You are not going to beat this on your own. Stop fighting it and get some help. I’m sorry, I couldn’t stop myself from wanting to help. Must be the addict in me.

4 Likes
#8

Indeed, been battling depression all my life. I’m holding out hope for what seems to be a sizable sober movement to make the navigation a little easier!

1 Like
#9

Well, you’re not alone. And I know for me, I had no chance at any kind of a life while drinking the way I was. If there’s any chance of it getting better, it’s starts with getting off the substances and having a clear head.

1 Like
#10

You’ve articulated the disillusionment I’ve been feeling with life quite well. Very relatable, it’s not easy, and the feelings of insufficiency are very real.

Fellow mid-30-something “why am I not farther in life” here also… really struggling with that one.

1 Like
#11

Yes, I had four months sober a couple years ago but that was following a traumatic event and it was “easy”, but I was pretty depressed at the same time. Still, I definitely recall how much healthier my body and mind were without the booze!

#12

That’s a tough question. If a dear friend came to me now for help I’d be excited to share the journey with them. If I was not addicted myself, I probably would not have any valuable advice…

Aside from find help. And I’m at the point of looking to find a therapist again. Which is daunting because I’m looking to find the right one!

Thank you for your words.

#13

My bike rides are amazing therapy but the time immediately following them is actually one of my biggest triggers. It’s pretty cruel!

1 Like
#14

Do you just need someone to talk to when you feel those feelings? What do you think might help you? Perhaps writing/journaling might be of some use as well. What is it you seek to fill that hole that alcohol fills so you no longer feel the urge to drink?

1 Like
#15

I feel you on the rushing out to meetings and platitudes. Everyone is different. Bottom line is that you are creating a hole in your life where drinking used to be, and something has to full that hole. It's like if you dig a hole in the ground . Eventually, something has to go in there, or else the earth will just go right back to filling it up again.

1 Like
#16

Try TLC - The Luckiest Club. Google it and join. No dogma, sponsors or steps. Meetings 35 a Week, book club, running club, local groups and groups of interest, immediate connections. AA was not for me. This is working! It’s worth a try! Sending thoughts and prayers your way!

1 Like
#17

Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. No one asked you to be a "fan" of AA. We do it when we are miserable enough. Miserable enough? Or are you holding out for more misery?

1 Like
#18

When Im about to overeat I find over hydrating curbs the psychological urge to stuff my face and fills my belly. Crush water, stretch out, practice yoga post bike ride. Whatever you gotta do to not drink alcohol.

1 Like
#19

There are other ways to recover. Check into some of them. Just do a google search. You may find “AA” isn’t so bad. Find a young group of people to do things with. We have some that go camping, bowling, volleyball, kayaking, river rafting, softball, hiking, beach meetings, campfire meetings etc etc. if I sit on my behind at home and feel sorry for myself then I will relapse over and over again. It is not necessary to escape my life. It’s my life and it will be what I make of it with a higher powers help. Doesn’t matter if my higher power is God or just the people around the tables. I sobered up when I was 30. I can now say I’ve been sober for half of my life. I’ve made mistakes etc. but I haven’t found it necessary to drink or use for all that time. If I expected sobriety to be simple I would have failed. Go out for coffee before or after meetings. Use the phone numbers you get at meetings. There is so much more to life and I missed out on it because of drinking and using. So no don’t hang in there. Get up and make something of your life instead of feeling sorry for yourself because you can’t zone out to alcohol or substances.

1 Like
#21

I don't know statistics, I'm not a trained professional, and I'm only speaking from my own personal experience and of others I've connected with.

It seems a majority of us are self-medicating with alcohol or drugs to deal with mental health issues like depression and anxiety. When you just stop taking or only intermittently take your "medication", you crash. You're likely just going back to it because you know it's the only thing that's helped in the past.

Have you considered seeking therapy and/or medication? If you have insurance, you can contact their mental health department and request referrals for the depression and anxiety. Telling them about the alcohol use is up to you.

I'm with you on the AA thing. It's a bit cult-ish.

2 Likes
#22

Relatable. I’m glad I’m not alone in the struggle.

2 Likes