Can anyone help
Trying to see if narcissistic and gaslighting can be from alcohalism. Just wanna hear everyone opinions so I am 80 days sober from alcohol before I quit I thought I was what I just mentioned I thought I was going crazy until I quit and than it all went away. Now I’m still with an alcoholic and now I’m starting to see and feel everything that I never saw when I was drinking I guess cause I was doing the same thing it’s different now I’m 80 days sober and this narcissistic n gaslighting is really affect me. I know narcissistic n alcoholism is similar and gaslighting is a form of narcissistic just wondering if all this is from alcoholism. I keep telling myself this is not him it’s the alcohol but idk how much more I can take or handle
Yeah this subject is rarely talked about and i know what you are saying and going through completely. It’s a handful and most people don’t understand. If you ever need to vent or really chat about this let me know, meantime stay awesome Cindy A
Both are definitely symptoms of alcoholism, I was definitely both of these symptoms. Still have to watch myself closely and catch myself gaslighting more often than anything. With the work we do in a program of recovery, these awful behaviors soften,change and in my case hopefully go entirely away. I also know the second I take the drink those old behaviors come back with a vengeance, I don’t want that so I’ll take another 24
Those are mental health conditions and characteristics that are usually independent of alcoholism although alcohol can make those conditions so much worse. Those are very tough. I know a few Narcissists and they are stuck in there ways because how can they fix problems they view as positive attributes that activate behaviors only they seem to enjoy? It's very hard to change ourselves so you can imagine how hard it is to change other people.
Most sober narcissists I know are dry drunks who struggle as they ponder ways to perfect perfection with respect to how they see themselves. The only thing I've ever seen truly cure a narcissist of his/her/they're self absorbed ways is love. Love will make people find ways to bring the moon to those they love. If the Narcissist can get sober then he/she/they will develop the clarity and self awareness needed to resolve character defects but it's hard work, takes love and determination, intense cognitive therapy, possibly an intervention, and a psychiatrist since depression usually follows upon the realization that the world isn't spinning solely for the said narcissist.
Just remember it's an ICD-9 Medical DX and not the narcissists fault for being narcissistic. Good Luck!
Congrats on 80 days btw. That's incredible.
Cindy, listen...as hard as it will be, if this guy isn't on board with you and interested in living a sober lifestyle you have to get rid of him. Relapsing is inevitable when the significant other continues to drink. Nobody is that strong and we all fall back into the bottle. You have to avoid people, places, and things during your recovery...especially at the beginning. My mom has been sober so many times but her husband refused to get sober and now my mom, a young 58 year wonderful woman is ravaged by alcoholism and every alcohol related illness you can think of and even that isn't enough to get her to stop drinking because her loser husband just wants to bring her down with him and now she's so far gone, even when the p.o.s succumbs to his ailments she'll have a poor quality of life. It's the saddest thing to witness and unbearable...I can't even fathom how her children and grandchildren weren't enough to keep her away from the bottle. She was in a coma for months and my siblings and I lived out of an ICU waiting room doing everything to let her know we were there and through a miracle she made it...and squandered it...all because she didn't leave Farmer Red Neck George human fecal matter.
You have to leave the Narcissist Cindy. It hurts I know but you need to love and fight for Cindy right now. Lose the dead weight.
Bless you Cindy. I'm rooting for you!
Thank u Monday was my 9 mo