Can’t Lose Me Too
I lost my twin, my other half,
The one who knew my tears, my laugh.
I lost my wife, my mama too,
And with each goodbye, more pieces flew.
My children are living, but far from me,
Because of the mother I failed to be.
A grandson’s face I’ve only seen,
Another reminder of what could’ve been.
I’ve smoked away nights just to numb the pain,
Only to wake up and feel it again.
I’ve begged to be loved, I’ve pleaded they’d stay,
While pieces of me kept slipping away.
I’ve carried the guilt, I’ve lived with the shame,
I’ve looked in the mirror and hated my name.
But how can I heal, how can I be free,
If the person I punish the most is me?
So I’m making a promise, though broken I stand,
To pick up my pieces with my own two hands.
To fight for my life, to learn how to grow,
To love the woman I barely know.
I’ll stumble, I’ll cry, I’ll still miss the past,
But these days of hating myself cannot last.
I’ve lost so much, and God knows it’s true,
But I can’t lose myself to the heartbreak too.
And if there’s one promise I’m fighting to keep,
It’s to find the woman buried beneath all this grief.
To give her the love she’s been begging to see,
And finally become someone who’s proud to be me.