I need to stop, I need to sleep, but I’m scared of the crash, and I can’t seem to control myself.
Welcome Kate! Glad to have you here! You're already working the first step.
Step 1 - We admitted that we were powerless over our addiction,
that our lives had become unmanageable.
The crash is inevitable. The high is always temporary. Eventually we have to come down and learn how to face life on life's terms without the use of a substance. The relationship with substances is very abusive and codependent on both sides.
Meetings and a sponsor can assist with helping you stay clean. If you feel like you need a detox and/or rehab you can call United way @ 211 and explain your situation (insurance etc) and that you're looking for rehabs in your area.
Hey Kate, if you walk into any ER and say you need a detox, they can and will hold you for 72 hours. Depending on your DOC, a medical detox is safer than doing on your own. They have meds that ease the crash. Like the Tim above said… dial 211. They can also help get a bed in a rehab facility. You can get sober if you truly want it!
@kate141195 the national addiction hotline is a great resource 1 (800) 662-4357
There is also a find professional help tab in the sober tool. Call one of the telehelp providers. Coke is not a drug you can keep using and live. You may have been able too before dealer's started adding fentanyl to stuff, but it isn't safe at all now.
Thanks for your responses and suggestions. It’s feels good to out myself and stop hiding in the shadows