I'm feeling 100% better but that means caution. I was a person that dream of of a certain life. I wanted to tell dark beautiful black man. That we could enjoy ourselves with the finer things in life. And it in the in the beginning I would think that alcohol was for celebration only. It seems like to me that my first drink wasn't too much of a celebration. I vomited all over. The second time I drank in my life I not only got paranoid but very highly sexual which was weird. I was only 15 and started to make out with the person and found out that my boyfriend found out of course we all cry rape and I'm sorry to say I did that but I was young and dumb. I didn't know that at one point in my life that horrible things like that would happen to me. I didn't realize how much a man could take advantage of a woman. So as I grew up with but I consider perfect parents. They show love and affection towards each other and maybe they had a argument or two one possible divorce but they got back together they've been together over 65 years now. But me looking for that dream of a man that would protect me and love me sure our finances together raise our children together. Have a church life and be able to enjoy all the other things in lives like going to concerts going out dancing. Celebrating everything in life with a cocktail or two. I've never in my life had two cocktails quits. I've never in my life try to stop after three or four. I think I've had the allergy my whole life and I hate that for myself. As we know now it's not anymore fun. You can start out thinking that you're going to have a drink or two I don't even play around anymore I start with a a fifth the fifth and always with a chaser of course no why not lose some wine or something with vodka mixed together. I've never been normal and that's the scary part. I am high achiever it to the top of my career. I've raised three successful daughters that probably need counseling because of me I try to maintain a good relationship with my family members. But a couple of them are off anyway. Last week was horrible. Suicidal thoughts sick to my stomach couldn't shut my brain down couldn't sleep. Anxiety up on top of anxiety at one time anxiety. Afraid I don't lose my job. Just got a new car man. That's just not no fun anymore. To be used and abused. By the men that say they love me. I'm 59 now and I asked myself is this all there is. Grateful for today
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I feel alot of that sister
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Stay strong Lisa, you got this!
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Ty
Lisa- YOU ARE NOT YOUR PAST!
Say this again and again until you believe it!!! You are worthy of good things in your life.
You are brave
You are strong.
You are not a victim anymore.
You get to choose your own happiness.
You can do this Lisa!!!!!!!
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Ty
Thanks