Change while working the steps

Recovery
#1

What your guy’s opinion on making changes while first getting into recovery? Or at least during the first year or so. Job change. Relationship change. Moving change.

Earlier this year I was working with a lady and told her how I didn’t care for my job and she said “just stick it out because I don’t want you making any sort of drastic changes for the next few months as we work the steps”.

Her main reason being because of all the feelings/emotions/past bring ups one goes through while working the steps.
(I no longer work with her as a sponsee but I’ve heard it at meetings too. Especially when it comes to dating.)
Agree? Disagree?

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#2

All I know is the only thing a person needs to change to be healthy and sober is everything. From the dating aspect.. if I may.. a lot of us get stuck in a cycle of choosing unhealthy people to hang with and until we date ourselves until we love our new healthy selfs we are likely to continue the same pattern. Just my observation in sobriety. Good luck :four_leaf_clover:

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#3

I agree with that statement. And a lot of people don’t. Which I find crazy. “Why do I need to love myself in order to love someone else”. Exact words someone once told me. :neutral_face: Because if you don’t love yourself you’ll truly never be happy and if you’re truly never happy you’ll never make someone else happy.
We need people to ADD to our happiness, not create it. Only we can do that for ourselves.
Thanks!

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#4

It’s a good suggestion. Hopefully you are still working thru the steps with another sponsor. I got the same advice early on. I will never forget my sponsors words. “I suggest you wait, but who am I to deny you of your own experience?”. I didn’t listen and suffered from them. I my case I had been making decisions based only on selfishness for decades. Working the steps gave me mental, spiritual, and emotional maturity. I made much better choices after working the program for a while.

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#5

I’ll always be working the steps. It’s part of the program. It was/is a Lifestyle change for me.

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#6

Excellent, your doing the work. Run it by your sponsor and work the steps on the new job. I still use this quick test: Is what I’m about to do bringing me closer to, or further away from the first drink? Choose accordingly. Lastly the 12&12 suggests I “check my motives”. Good luck in whatever you do. Just my thoughts.

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#7

I moved when I got sober. Well I actually was in a program that moved me and I decided to stay after graduating now I love my new home and I’m only 4 hours away from my family so visits are special. Dating I would agree on learning to love urself and value urself first bc that is very Important and learning why we tend to find the same kind of toxic people to date over and over and break those chains to not let it happen again. Ur job could be something that stands in ur way of recover and if that’s the case find a new one that doesn’t and keep working toward ur goal to better urself :heart::heart:

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