Excited and nervous to see all my family. Im definitely the black sheep and these times are hard and sometimes awkward
Don't commit yourself to stay long if you think it might get weird. Family can be the worst!
Try to have faith that it will be great but have an exit strategy to stay safe. Stay PRESENT 
I get that same way around my family. Although since I got sober and done a lot of inner work (12 steps etc), it’s gotten a lot better. It’s good that you are aware and acknowledging your feelings. Now you can work on reframing your thoughts in a more positive way. In most circumstances our families love us and are happy to see us sober. Just be the best version of yourself and enjoy the holidays. I’m going to do the same. We all are going to be doing the same. We are not alone!
Hello fellow black sheep! You're gonna rock this Christmas! Stand proud in your sobriety, it's going to be ok.