Haven't been on here in a bit bc I've been too busy making a mess using. I don't wanna live like this anymore. I'm so desperate to get clean. I'd rather die than keep using, but today I want to live. I'm at the point where I've given myself 2 options, and nothing else: I will get clean this time and never pick up again, or I will decide to not be here anymore. Not to be dramatic, and don't mistake this for suicidality. This is my choice and I won't go back again. It's been too long and too much struggle. I want to actually live for the first time
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Oh Allie, Iāve been where you are and not that long ago. I was clean for a long time and then relapsed and always thought it would be easy for me to go back to sobering up but it wasnāt. It was if it was out of my control and I felt exactly like you do now.
The phrase One Day at a Time is such an important reminder that if we can just focus on one day, today, and make good choices we can get through. Also the more sober I am the better life is and there are things that āI want to live forā. I cling on to those things and use those on my days where I struggle. Support like this and meetings and anything you can get, use it all. Best to you.
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Well looks like yoI have a decision to make. Sounds like you are willing to do anything to get clean. Have you thought about rehab? Sometimes we have to change everything to change one thing. If you really want to get sober to he!l with everything else! Forget work, school, friendsā¦ I hope you find the peace and serenity you deserve.
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Thereās a saying in the rooms that says āthe gift of desperationā. It sounds like you have finally made it there. While itās a very painful part of our recovery journey, it is an extremely important part of it. Now is the time to do what needs to be done. Now is the time to stop running and face the demons. They are not as scary as you think, and we are all here to help you. This is a great place to start. There are some wonderful ladies (and gents) on here that are willing and wanting to give you support. You are our sister. The fact that you keep coming back says a lot. In recovery this show perseverance and desire. You want recovery. Itās right there in front of you. Itās going to take some work, but we do this together. Letās go. You can do this ODAAT
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Great choice in choosing to live a much better life! You definitely can do this if you really want it!
Careful detoxing tho, depending on what you're using
Hey love, please message me if you feel like hurting yourself at any point in time. Iāve been where your at. The desperation to want to live has never been more clear in your soul. Use that bring you closer to recovery. Itās the hope that one day we will make it that helps addicts keep coming back. Iām sending you lots of love and prayers. And again please message me if you need to. We are here to help each other.
Happy you made the choice to come back !!!! Letās start Living !!!! Youāre in the right place ā¦.Weāre here for you ā¦.
Stay positive ā¦ u can do this ā¦.. itās not easy but itās doable ā¦. I believe in u
Allie, your getting great feedback. Mine may seem the hardest, you need to get into a rehab. No matter how or where. Call local AA. If you work call your insurance program. Call your family and friends. Do everything you possibly can to get into a detox and rehab facility. All this adoration and encouragement to be strong is nice to hear. Truth is no one person is strong enough to get sober. Fear or despair may give you a start but thatās all it is. If your not seriously working a program at least, you will just count days till you feel better and our built in forgetters will take over. The addiction is stronger than any one of us alone. Please I beg you. Go into rehab. Even if it means losing your job, losing friends, losing your carā¦.. non of it matters. If you enter a rehab for 28 days, work the program hard and follow what your told, within a few months you will be on the road to recovery putting together a new better life with better option than you have ever had. Make that choice now and do it. It works if you work it, so work it, you worth it and live. Please call if I can help further 9176965562
Tom
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Hello Allie, I'd really like for you to stick around with us. I know you can get and stay clean no matter how difficult, and humbly ask that you focus on thankfulness and the joy of clean living and skip piling up guilt and shame which is destructive. I hope you have a good day today 
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Youāre worth it! I would recommend speaking with your Dr and asking them for treatment options. This is how I started to get help. Youāre not alone, weāre all addicts here and Iāve been where you are. The disease wants you deadā¦ tell it to āsuck itā and that you refuse to let it succeed. Itās time to battle for the life you deserve. Reach out if you want to talk - 267-584-4328
I think this is what's referred to as the gift of desperation. You have to be willing to ask for help from those who have what you want. Find yourself a detox and go from there. For some of us it takes losing everything to find ourselves. It's not easy, but it's worth it. Keep pushing, no matter how many times you fall, just never give up.
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Good morning Allie, desperate is a hard place to be. I know I felt so uncomfortable, so uncertain about myself. Only because drugs and alcohol was the only way I knew how to cope, until it became too overwhelming to control. Please keep fighting your way out of this mess, there's a lot of good people that you can lean on as you go through the painful part of this journey, the beginning. You sound very determined, stay positive, reach if you need to talk?
As said above, desperation is a gift. Do the next right thing and get into action. Get to meetings, detox, or wherever you need to be to stay sober today. Recovery is about action. You have taken action here, keep moving forward and asking for help.
Remember, take it one day at a time.
We do recover.
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Thereās a lot of free rehabs around. Iāve been. They might ask for $ after youāve left but when I told them they said it wouldnāt cost anything they said āoh yeahā. Haha.
Donāt leave here.
Post or call someone when you think about using.
512/923-3681.