After all that is said, I dont eat all my meals alone and I do have a cat she is spoiled. She eats when I do.
I'm sorry there seems to be so much emotional strife right now. But it sounds like you have your head on pretty straight....
And congratulations on a year and a half. That's pretty awesome
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Thank you 
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Congratulations on a year and a half!
You are not being ungrateful, nor do you have your standards set too high. You deserve to be loved and treated the way you wish. And living on your own will teach you so much about yourself! It will allow you to love yourself and know exactly what you want in a partner!
Proud of you for putting yourself and your needs first!
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Go to CODA if.you have one close by. I realized I'm codependent after 34 yrs of sobriety. I stayed single for 20 years and met a women 2 years ago and boy it all came out in that relationship. There's hope
You’re not being ungrateful, your standards are about self-respect and the life you want to build. Whatever you decide, know that you’re doing the best you can with what you know now. Sending strength your way!
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Thank you all for the words of encouragement !!!